Monday heat

I slept really good though after I turned on the air conditioning for about an hour or so. I woke up on the sofa last night sweating like a pig.. returned to my bed and it was bloody hot. The house smells of humidity, I don't know how to remove the smell. YUK!!!

It is obvious the season is changing and were getting into summer. The weather is definately hotter. It was not so sunny but very humid today. I waited around Joswea called and said he was coming by but he never showed.
I ate a little yogurt, and coffee and left down the road to the roperia to find out if this chick I asked to give me a price on uniforms for the Casino had it together yet. She gave me some excuse about the material is too expensive. I said I didn't care just do it with other material and give me a price. I also talk to her about her damn remodel that she wanted me to do and she baulk about this too.

I said listen I have things together for you I know the idea its simply you and I go to San jose buy the materials and you have your people install you pay me for my idea and time to go with you.
She liked that but when now is the question!!!

I walked then into town, met this french man I have seen a number of times and he stopped me to say I was pretty in pink, he gave me his card and invited me to his office some time.

We laughed and chatted and I walked further. I then saw Orfa this strange looking woman who I believe has had too much plastic surgery, and we chatted a moment too she didn't know why was Walking all over so I explained she was shocked... mad and worried too. I do have friends here actually I have alot of friends but no one that really comes through for you when you need them.

Then I stopped and said Hello to two gentlemen at the breakfast restaurant. I told about the wet tragedy and one confessed he reads the blog. He reminds me of that guy on the oat meal commercials? I can not think of his name but I recently saw a commercial with him on a horse and I swear it was him!

Walking on to the office I said hello the girls at Rosie's but just in passing.. Not stopping.
When I got the office there was a couple waiting for me.
It was a famous artist in Florida Mark Vose. He does magnifcient Murals, they spoke with me and I told them I wanted them to help with the Casino. Now neither one lives here but agreed to come back.
Then the Indian showed up, he wanted to take me this project and introduce me to the developer to try to get me in to do the design work. But the guy was not there and didn't answer his calls.
I asked him to take me to Herradura to try to meet up with the guy with the three landscape jobs. But he wasn't around either. I must have called five or more times to reach him.

So next idea was Go to the Amapola. We went he drove this beat up old tattered car half falling apart. Both of us were laughing the whole way over. To qoute him " if my friends saw me driving this and I added mine too!" in arrving the guys there said no not him? I said he is just driving me. I needed a ride, I asked several people , but no one responded. So whats a girl to do? I took the beat up ol ride to try to get work.
Well that didn't work out either. The rooms were occupied, and we could not get in to measure or take my second look to give him the price.
We talked they ask me to do some typing for them on some contracts, really small amount of money. But I accepted.
Tommorrow I will go and type away for several hours.

He then dropped me off at rustico, I ate a some pork, a small amount of rice, and this delicious carrot with egg salad. The carrots were cooked just right. Really different, while I was eating this girl walked up with this military looking hat and some shorts and a green top, she said Hola, it was Raquel. She got her food and sat with me and we chatted over the same exact lunch.

Raquel and I walked back into town about13 blocks, she stayed at Rosies,I went back to the office. Changed my clothes to jazzercise clothes and got ready to go around 3:30.

I took a taxi there it was far, but I used a pirate taxi their cheaper.

The jazz class was not really jazz kinda a put together jazz?? gave me and idea she wasn't being honest.. but the class was a pretty good work out. I didn't pay she said if you like it come back.

There were mostly young girls , amazingly.. I have more endurance and energy than what I saw in these young girls.
I kept going while most of them stopped in the middle.
It was fun, I love any form of dancing.

I walked back to my house which is about two miles from there or more, Got cleaned up and changed to go the los Suenos with the Artist.

I had called Vidal , he owns the beat up ol falling apart car and ask him for a ride to Herradura. He came but about a hour late.
When we arrive the artist took photos and we talked there for more than an hour maybe like close to hour and 40 I was getting antsy and wanted to go.. The General manager was not there. I had emailed earlier in the day to talk with him but just like the rest of the day nothing came together.

I did receive a email from Dickey tonight encourageing me to keep my head up, and keep going telling me you can do it, but I swear its tough.
In wakling home tonight at midnight alone.. I had fear, I was weary, and feel so drained of my spirit.
I want to be positive I want good things to happen I want money to come to me, I want to attract it!! turn things around and for once in a long time be secure!

I have no problems attracting men, The opposite sex are some times obsessed with me so that is not issue its the finances that need to be now an obsession, and it is with me.I once told someone... If a man dumps me I may be mad or upset or sad for a few hours But when money dumps me I go beserk! I can live with men, But NOT MONEY!

I woke up around 5:00 am to a water sound, Not knowing if they were filling the pool or if someone outside was hosing something down. When I stepped out of the bed the room was filled with water. Almost touching the mattress. The beds are low here so I would estimate about a foot and half of water through out the house.

The Apartment sits below grown about two feet. it’s the lowest point in the apartment complex. We have a log cabin of all things next to me its close with stone walkway all around and my place sits below with a sunken patio, and the pool right at my bedroom, you step up three steps to get out of my apartment to the pool.

Now knowing this you can understand why water will not exit the apartment.
The line under the sink broke. Filling the house with water all over. Ok the hamper was full and I had a dress in there that was bright blue it bled and ruined about ten pieces of nice clothes I have there ruined. All the throw pillows on the floor that were on the bed are absolutely ruined, the bed covers, and well my purse was on the floor and it was floating in the room.

I had my good Cannon camera that I use to shoot photos for work and here well its ruined. I don’t have money to replace any of this and the landlord or anyone here in Costa Rica does not have property insurance to cover such things. I am just sick over it..
But it went like this. I waited till I heard the landlord upstairs rustling around before going and waking them up to this disaster. Mind you he is Full blooded Italian, some times a raving maniac.

When I heard his wife I went up to tell her, she got him up and it all began. He was hysterical, screaming yelling throwing things around. Blaming me for all of it.
It went on and on, I did nothing but coward in the corner more or less. I was so devastated by the whole thing I didn’t have much to say. He kept going on and on, well the brother who is here from Italy, is living in the little log cabin apartments next to me he yells through the window, for him to get up and help him with this mess. The brother doesn’t respond. He yells louder and louder. Then he becomes in raged and bangs on the door and opens it they fight, yelling screaming throwing things. The baby starts crying the brother is crying, I am crying, everyone is screaming except me.

I am outside by the pool thinking oh my god someone help me. I went in and began sweeping water and trying to put it buckets, we have a mop bucket in the back so I got that. The landlord came in and screamed so much at me… said it was all my fault and for me to get the hell out of there, go live somewhere else. Said I was bad luck and didn’t want me here any more. I cried of course. I was in shock too and tired. I came home late like 3:00 with Rosie. She closes at one and we went and danced for two hours.

So exhausted, no sleep, and now distressed, I don’t know what I am going to do now, with no work, no car, and now this?… The Camera, damn it!!!! I think I just feel so stripped of everything now. I wanted so bad to talk to my son, finally after a couple of hours I was able to contact him and talk to him. We talked I calmed down and so did The landlord. He began helping but let me tell you a Loud Italian mad is a bad thing, he yelled all through the apartment while trying to get all the water out , he was screaming at the brother, that didn’t help and at me while I was helping. I was not about to leave I know I needed to help.

He said in Italian, DAMN BROTHER, Knows I need help and he rather sleep, when this old lady is here helping me… I am not that much older than him but I just listened, because I was not about to say anything at all I need a place to stay, beside I don’t have the rent this month first time ever in my life I don’t have the money to pay for the rent!!! And now this? I have ten days to come up with the money… I have to do it. Besides I have no where to go…

Now my CAMERA, I keep thinking about that more than anything now, The car the towels the camera.. What the hell else is going to happen? Something else happened but I can not talk about it now… Its too hurtful to talk about.

My son says it a sign for me to come back, but it was the same there I had life happen, things happen in life don’t they? Is how you deal with the things that happen. The complex situation is they happen here in sequence. The compound fact is the work has not happened, I been out of work now for months. All beginning with Charles Boyd who I found out yesterday he screwed more than just me.. They picked him up here FBI and Interpol for assault with a deadly weapon, armed robbery, drug trafficking, and false passport. He was the one who threatened me in the grocery store. That situation brought me down, it was after that that no more work came or came through.

But Right now I have six lined up, two Villas at Amapola, remodel, a Casino, its for sure! And three condos in Herradura for landscape, but I have to find a car today to go for the walk through to give the guy a price.

I called Diego and just asked him and He is going to let me know If I can later.

The good thing now that has come out of this horrible situation is, the house is totally clean. The landlord got a lady here right away to get the rest of the water out and wash all my things and clean up the place.
The other thing is that possibly my sons through this has talked a little more and are renewing there relation.
One more thing, the landlord was so outraged, that he called everyone yelling at them including the gardener.
That was perfect for me, because I have three landscapes to give bids on and so when he was away I talk to the gardener and told him I need people to help install three gardens, that I would pay well I need good people who understand plants.
So I got my guys lined up already for the new jobs that I have prospectively. You see I had them before but because of Charles Boyd, he cut us and kept my guys to pay them cheap and I told those guys that you will never work for me again if you work for him with out me… That was Charles plan, get rid of me so he didn’t have to pay the real price, get all the plants there and the plan and use my cheap labor…



CUT THROATS!! So now I have new ones, this guy that works here has worked for me before but he didn’t do such a great job, I just explained him that. I also told him to do a good job here or the landlord was going to fire him… He is a good worker but I can bet its not easy to work for my landlord. HE IS A SCREAMER and says bad things.


So that was the saga for Sunday, I was too upset to write, I didn’t have the energy to think about it, and all I did was put things away after all the furniture everything. Walk into town ate a little bit had an ice cream came home turned on the tele and went to sleep till this morning.
Now I am with out more things, I feel sad and wonder really what I am going to do, the only thing I can think of is to carry on try to keep making it here..

Till I can figure out what else to do

Pretty strange characters in this town

Its really interesting here, you meet someone everyday that is either a so called millionare, or famous or liars or more like liars!!! I met someone in the past couple of weeks he was the one that used my computer. I won't mention a name, because he says he was in a special agency in the states, or I am not sure exactly what he is. I have been snooping around though and can not find a thing about him on the net. He is Indian decent so I believe? American Indian. All I am going to say is the gut keeps telling something is not exactly correct here. He wrote to me some months ago on My space, The questions were lined up like soilders. One after another without a pause and with out a space. I didn't answer many only a few. I didn't know who this guys was, he requested to be my friend on my space. It was all new to me and I after reading a little of his bio said ok?

Alright so I never thought another thing about it. Then right before Christmas, in fact three days before. I was introduced to him by a realtor friend of mine. She told me his name and where he said he was from. But I did not connect the man with the name because he had a photo of him far away not able to see the face and the name was not indicated on myspace. He watched me dance with lots of people as though he was some sort of body guard. I kept teasing him telling him to wake up enjoy the music. He was somber and just stared at people without a smile.

Several times durning the next few days I saw him on the streets walking with a tall young man, as though they were buddies.
Always in passing I would wave or say hola!
One day they invited me into this little fish taco bar its all outside so you can see who is walking by, a very good observation place for people.

I entered and the young one offered to buy me lunch I declined, but accepted a lemonade. We talked mostly business, I liked what he was saying to me about himself and the other guy. But still at that moment I felt a urging feeling to leave.. Although he kept saying he needed to use internet and calling international, and wanted to watch the football game.
He seemed harmless and he may be harmless, he has not done anything as of yet to threaten me. Although he has shown me a side of him that is not NICE.

I invited them over to watch the game and use the internet.
They did and were very polite, The younger one fixed my dvd and bought cords for me so I could use it. Actually quite nice.
Rosie and I got to know them better when I invited them to our Christmas eve dinner. Then the following day Christmas they went with us and that family to Manuel Antonio.

Ok since then we have met up several times, STRICKLY HELP AND BUSINESS... I hooked him up with a few things.

He has shown me as I said a side of him that is not nice, and I let him know I won't put up with that, and told him so. If you have nothing good to say to me or the mannor of how you say things to me then do not talk to me. I do not need any more grief! Well last night when I was going to go to meet this client, which I did and it went well.

He told me somethings about this place, He told me several days after knowing me that he was on my friends list in My space.. ok strange.. or maybe not but I think its strange that he is here, and was in my house. Now were becoming friends?

I want to say more but... but I don't think I should. So as I titled this, Pretty strange characters... this is real drama saga here in JACO... The people the types the situations.. well
This may be some sort of connection to a situation I had some months back with a certain development that Refused to pay me, and caused my spiral. I mean it could be answer to the money that was owed. Small world... reflecting back I remember saying to these people at this project, you cheated me and I believe I am not the only one! I prayed that god would avenge me and maybe the revenge is coming??? but through this man? I asked that powers to be, to go after these liars.. that used me to set up there open house, holiday decor, and condos and didn't pay for the services in full, used every excuse in the book to wear me down and not pay the bill...

The ol saying what goes round comes round???? well its true... I hope? I had a brief moment of hope last night with this Indian for an old situation I thought was a done deal.. BUT MAYBE NOT!

So in everything time will tell, tell about this character, and the situation and I surely hope works out, I need the money and I want to get on my feet solid again!

Well Rosie and I had a nice time dancing. I enjoy my friendship with her.

It really sounds obserd that I go out dancing so much. But as I have said many times its a great form of exercise for me I feel alive, and forget my woes and enjoy the music and the dance. It is really obvious others love it too because I have many who enjoy dancing with me.. Right now its an only form of outlet.

I enjoy manythings, I wish we had live music, and movies, and theater I love stage plays, anythig in the arts. But we don't I think in time though it will happen.

Today I already did some contacts, made a call and I plan on going to the beach.. Usually Sunday is my day.. but its nice today. The house is clean, I don't have plans or dates wish I did!!!

Maybe today I will meet some more interesting or strange characters!

IT started out with Two visitors

It started out with two visitors today, one was Mauricio, he came by early to say hello the other was Joswea, he is the one that brought me breakfast a week or so ago. He had just gone surfing, was thinking about me and just stopped in to say hi too.

He checked out the car and was mad when he saw it. He too has a friend who supposably buys wrecks. Now if just one of them shows up this coming week. God I been trying for a month as of next week.



I had to shew Joswea off because I was going to the Amapola for that vacation, tour thing.

Reluctantly I walked from my place to Amapola, with out eating, or drinking any water. It was so hot! Its far I have no idea but I venture to say its over three miles? and there is no straight shot to it.

Amapola is a hotel, villa vacation club owned by Italian people the grounds are done very well with fountains, ponds and lots of plants leading to a huge pool area.

The hotel is nice the restuarant is very good, and there building a pizza parlor, it has a casino, bar, and villas. All of the areas except the hotel rooms and casino, are all out doors.



I went listened, but in my heart of hearts I don't want to pass out flyers and recruit people to come and listen to a presentation for buying time vacations. Similar to Club med. It's I am sure a good deal but me on the streets? passing out papers, and trying to get people to go there in a free taxi ride? I don't know... I just don't know!!!

Butttttttttttt while I was there one of the directors said do you do remodles? I said yes, he then took me one of the villas that looks like it was done in the early 70's maybe not but it had pink and blue short drapes, sheers, short little sofas in navy blue and a small table with four chairs. The lamps everything were high up, all the prints on the walls were hung really close to the ceiling.



The Mirror in the bathroom was so high a man that was 7 foot might be able to see his wiskers!

He offered to pay for one if the other boss would pay for the other. He wants two different looks

Maybe that was the real purpose of me meeting Joe and being invited to go there.
Next Monday I am to meet him again get photos and put a bid together.

He gave me taxi money, I went into town ate at Rustico a little soda that is like a buffet but its small and you just point on what you want.


I ate in a crowed soda with a family there wasn't any room at any of the tables. When I was done I walked into town, only stopping at the Galeon to rest from the sun. That was about half a mile, then I proceeded to the Century 21. But before I had a call from Best Western. The general manager called to get a bid for the holiday decor for this new year. I guess he read the Jaco guide and had my brocheure I left some three or so months ago. It was for the past year 2007, but hey he said he heard I did the Los Suenos, and wanted me to give him the bid and was positive he wanted my touch for this year.



That's great but I need something now... If something doesn't happen fast I won't be around next year.

As soon as I got to The Century, it was time to go to Best western. I had 500 colones from the Amapola, and used that to go the Best Western so I wasn't late.
I made it in time, we walked through the whole hotel its quite large, it was blazing hot. most of it is outdoors except the rooms. It took about a half hour, then we shook hands, kissed cheeks, and I walked back to the office.
I just hung out talk to the people in the office, and tried to be positive...
Went to Rosies Of course, had a water, sat for a hour, then walked home. The town is busy, lots of people. I wish I could capitolize on the tourists some how??? I been racking my brain. But nothing coming...

Came home ate a half a tomato half and avocado, and a few little chunks of fetta cheese, the phone rang. It was the guy I met the other night that has three condos that need landscaping. He gave me hell for a while said he was in love with me.. Mind you he is a good ol boy, from Houston. Big guy, maybe 68 or so? Don't know much about him. But he wants to me come out on Monday to take a peak and get started.

He asked me to meet him at the beetles tonight with another couple from Canada, I figure it might be a good idea to do that some big deals have been made in bars. But Drinking for me is not on the agenda, that last week with Rosie did it for me for a while.
in fact I smelled someone today walking down the side walk, (which there are lots of people who walk with drinks here and beer in there hand.) and it made me gag.

When they offer I will order gingerale with lemon. That way it looks like I am drinking. But I do want to hook with them because I need to make this work.

I am resting now watching an Adam Sandler movie something about a foot ball team in a prison.. pretty funny. I love ADAM

Baking makes the home smell so good

Got up pretty early and walked into town to pick up the pans I use to bake in. I saw my friend Daphine, we talked on the road side and enjoyed the visit. I told her what is going on and how I am trying everyday to do something to move forward. It was warm out even at 8:00 the heat of sun was burning my shoulders.

I took the short way down a side street and by a little river. It takes you up by a bridge and drops you near the Rental car building. From there Roises is about four or five blocks. But we don't have blocks here just estimating.
I grabbed all my things and quickly walked back hoping the landlords wife would allow me to use the stove.

When I got back I just began preparing, opened the doors allowing the air in and sun.
I toyed around with the stove and WOW IT Lit up! I was so happy like it was some sort of miracle!! I tried it a couple of times to make sure it would stay lit and it did!
So I hurried and got everything ready and then waited for the rolls to rise. I played on the internet, swept, cleaned up a little bit around the house. Watered plants, fed blanqueeta the cat and then began to bake. It didn't take long in fact I almost burned a one batch it was so hot. I don't think the temperature is correct but I tweak it and made it work!
Thank god I was so upset over this little thing. Although I make hardly anything right now its much better than sitting here and worring about how money is coming. It makes me happy too...
Plus I have the satisfaction of knowing people are enjoying my food.

An astonishing thing happened as well, The landlords wife came down and actually talked to me alot??? then she said she wanted to learn English. HMMM Maybe I could teach her and have her deduct it from the rent???

Tomorrow I will discuss this her and set up a time when baby is sleeping to begin her lessons.

When I was finished, I walked to the Soda and ate a small lunch, asked for a box and came back cut them into the same sizes that fit exactly a dozen each. Covered it with foil and then placed the rolls on them and cover the rolls with plastic. Looked nice! She came again and offered me a ride into town... WOW ok what happened to her? I don't know or care but I was thrilled.
It worked out perfect!

One of her friends took a look at the car and said he might know of someone who would buy it wrecked. So GOD I HOPE THIS HAPPENS FAST

I don't care what type of car it is its immaterial right now, just something to get around till I get back on my feet.

Before I came to Costa Rica I drove a black Cadillac CTS, with Tan leather interior, and 20 inch rims. I ordered it the first year they came out. It was a dream car.. I love that car the best thing I ever owned. I miss it alot.. I have had my share of nice cars.

I drove my mothers Chevy lavender Impala with white tuck and roll interior and chrome rims for a long time before I got a Yellow Chevy Corvair with black leather interior... COOL CAR. Convertable. Then I had a new toyota corolla, Three VWs, three pickups in my life, A buick regal, a 48 Chevy pickup semi restored, a cool mini van with pink striping like a barbie beach bus, a old Ford econoline, a ford explorer, A black Ford Expedition, and a black Ford econoline new.. So I have had my share of cars. I love nice cars always have so this for me is a completely different attitude. I really want heart of my hearts a Black Toyota Hy lux, this is the nice truck they sell here.. Its beautiful I WANT IT BAD but how at this point.

Before When I wanted anything I set my mind to it and attained it. HERE IS MUCH DIFFERENT!

I am sure I can figure this out again but its much more difficult.

Ok so now back to Rosies, she was not there so I walked over to the office to check mail and see if there were any leads what soever.

I had a letter from a freind suggesting I send a resume to this company in San Jose, I had a number for the company so I called and talked to the gal introduced myself and gave a short history( believe it or not)

She said she was full had no room for another person, but would take a look at my accomplishments. It was shot at least.

I walked back to Rosies talked for a moment and then walked home, but on my way I could see the sunset was beautiful. I decided to Go to the Malecone and check it out. It sits on the beach its a bar with and open balcony. Overlooking all of Jaco, I sat down got a bottle water and watched. My friend who works at the Amapola, sat next to me and ordered up Hors de orves.. Patacones and guacamole, and frijoles. Fried yucca, and chicken wings and ribs..

I ate all the patacones, that is fried plantains, really good.. we talked and he asked me to work for him handing out flyers for a tour company. He said you can make up to a hundred bucks a day only for a few hours a day. Honestly this is not for me but I told him I would come and listen to his schpeel.

I hate that sort of thing myself so I can not imagine me doing this.

He wanted Ice cream at the Italian Ice cream parlor, so we walked there and sat and watched the tourists.

He had his Ice cream and we talked..he reminds me a little bit of my sisters husband Alan. Kinda big, has a mustache and grey hair, Nice guy...

I walked home and relaxed a little.. but I think I am going to go out and do some latin dancing tonight. Tonight is latin night.. Its good for me to dance I get my mind off things and enjoy the music and the exercise.

Borning day

Started out my normal day, coffee and internet, listen to the birds. Put on pretty clothes and walked to the soda to eat.
Walked into town wow was it ever hot... I felt my shoes melting. I had little heels on impossible to be comfortable and walk in the heat. I made it to the office to check mail and make calls, emailed the Los Suenos to find out a date for the contract on the remodle, now my only hope for work.
I called a contact I had some months ago no answer, called another contact for some condos for landscape no answer... so I read and hoped for the best. I walked back home and talk to Rosie she ordered again.


I have to say the the stove has been broken now for more than a three weeks the oven has been repaired before, but this time the stove itself is bad. The landlord has not fixed it. Rosie wanted me to do some more baking last week, but I couldn't because the landlord had company and I couldn't use the stove. She took out the cheesecake orders she said they were too yellow. Not knowing that these are the real thing not the ones you buy here at spoons that taste like paste. A couple of her Customers know I baked them, they asked how come there wasn't more, I said she didn't want them, but I think the reason was maybe the price was too high. They had lots of eggs in them and they were delicous.

She still wants the Cinnamon rolls because there cheaper and big and she doubles if not tripples her money on them.

She said she didn't want to confuse friends with business too. This I can understand but I need help right now and this little bit of money does feed me.

The landlords wife:

I asked to use the stove she pulled a card on me saying you owe a hundred bucks from last month. I told her I need to make things in order to make money. She said if she was here I could use the stove,which means she probably won't be here in the morning. So dang if I do and dang if I don't
Now Rosie wants these things, and I don't have a working stove or oven.
I been eating out because it is cheaper for me, but what if I did want to make something? Its been not working now for three weeks.

I do owe for last month $100 dollars more the rent is $700.00 alot when your not bringing in much. I tired like hell to pay it and I got very close.
This sounds horrible as I am writing it, but it is the truth. I have gotten so far down... I sure hope I see light some day. Thank god I don't have any big debts, because I would be ready to end it all.
Just the car that was worth $20,000.00 that is pretty much totalled, the office that was a huge chunk of money. And really the only real big debt I have is a nursery bill from one account and its not over $300.00 dollars. This is the good thing... But right now I feel pretty crapy. I went to two different stores walking mind you and no one had all the ingredients I needed to make the pastries, finnally I found it but I don't have pans,now no oven.

The other thing is I don't know anyone here who does?

What another challange of living in Costa Rica!!

The rest of the evening I plan on making the dough, then just trying to rest my tired mind and watch TV

Feliz Ano Nuevo Happy New Year

Jan 31st here was really insane. So many people everywhere, the streets filled with Ticos, Americans, Canadians, Europeans, Isreali's,Iranians. You could hardly walk because of the amount of people.

My first thing is always my coffee, internet. I read about what is happening in the world and see If I have any mail or comments on the blog.

So I had coffee, walked to the soda Garribito had my one egg one toast two slices of tomato, and lemonade.

This is my usual now, they don't have fruit, which I love, but its so cheap for me to eat there that buying food to make for myself cost double if not more.

As I said before it is usually 600 to 700 colones which amounts to about a buck and a half. Right now with my situation I worry about how I am eating so this is best.

I walked into town checked out the crowds, talked to a few people as I walked into town.

Pretty much alone most of the day. I find myself alone alot. I do feel strange at times doing everything alone. I can say one good thing about it, it is peaceful most times.

But I do feel envious of others when I see couples holding hands walking together, kissing, or mearly enjoying the company of each other.

Lots of parties everywhere. On the beach in the hotels, on the streets in the open bars, just people enjoying and celebrating. I on the other hand walked and watched, and just listened to people.

Much fireworks were being shot off all over all day and night. The parrots were screaching and flying about probably frigthened by the noise. It was just loud, but fun in some respects.

I went to the beach after I checked out a couple of things I tried to call a client that was wanting me to help but no answer.

The day was not for trying to obtain work obviously. So I laid on the beach and hour or so, walked back into town, and ate some roasted chicken.

Only the meat, nothing more, then walked back to the house. I was excited to get back to change my clothes to go to Jazzercise, but I thought hell that is a long way to walk and perhaps because its the 31st they may have cancelled the class.

I called and it was a good asumption. They cancelled. So disapointed, I sat on the sofa pouted a bit, then fell asleep.
When I woke up it was about 7:00 there is nothing to eat here so I drank water, watched TV and slept some more.


I woke up again around 9:00 to the phone. It was Marla Tortorrici, she just called to see how I was and if I was ok? She is a good person. Really a character no lie, I miss her.

She was shocked to hear about the car and felt bad, said what are you doing. I said not much not much I can do. I am trying to walk around, get into town, trying to make contacts but its not easy. I told her things were not going so well but I seriously try to be positive everyday and hope for a freaking miracle! SERIOUSLY


I hoping and praying for a miracle. She talked for about 20 minutes and wished me a feliz ano nuevo, then Marcus called my friend from Masatal, he wanted me to come up there and stay the night at his eco tour cabinas.

But its two hours from here in a car, the bus dosen't go at night. I explained about the car he was sad too.. he said he was coming to visit me in about a week.
So I will be looking forward to seeing him, he is one of Cristhians friends. He has Siempre Verde a cool eco tour farm.


I got dressed because the gals at the cafe del mar said we were gong to the Monkeys for New Years, nothing special, besides money was an issue.

I was all ready, called a taxi, no taxis I waited for a hour no taxis, so I said heck with it, put my flip flops on held my high heels in my hand and walked to the town. I walked pretty fast because I could the pressure dropping knowing it was going to rain soon. No sooner than I got to the corner near the cafe it POURED!!! I was less than 25 feet, but I had a sheer dress on high heels and my hair was straight.

The rain with that in seconds I would have been drenched and falling down.

So I waited for a few minutes, I could see them but they couldn't see me. They were putting everything in side, and closing up ready for fireworks at the Best Western, the shot them off early and well by the time it stopped raining the fire works were done. I walked across and all the girls said awwwwwweeeeeeee Marianna... my face was sad :( and I was a bit wet they could see.


We all got paper and walked fast across the road to Monkeys. It was full, Rosie paid my way in, we all found a spot and no sooner than we did the place filled to the max.

The music was nice, better than in the past. I was not in the mood to celebrate honestly but I smiled and then my friend Christina bought me beer, then Rosie bought me a Tequilla, oh god I did not want to get sick... I drank about two beers and two shots of tequilla, that was too much .

Danced alot, with so many people. Around 2:00 I went home to bed. My feet were killing, and I was starving but nothing to eat so straight to bed.

This morning I was sick, I had a hang over. Goma they call it here. It wasn't a bad hang over it, I drank some coffee and felt fine. Watched the Rose parade and rested.

The rest of the day was quiet spent alone walking and on the beach for two hours played in the surf, and watched lots of people. Then around five I walked into town, left my huge beach towel at Rosies other place,( It got stolen) and walked to her orginal place. To visit and watch tourists.

We ate a hamburger wow was that good... and we drank espressos, visited with clients her and I. Then I came back to pick up my giant bath towel to find someone had taken it.

Is nothing safe here? Now I only have two towels, I left the same type in the mans car that went with us to Manuel Antonio on Christmas I forget to ask him for it and he forgot it when he returned the rent a car. Now this one.. I know its only a towel, but you can not buy these here.

The towels here are so dang thin, and cheap they don't last. These are from USA, I bought them at Costco they were those huge thick bath blankets.. DANG IT!! now the towels..

I almost cried. sounds so dumb, didn't stress over the car thing but stressed about towels? Ok thats silly...
I think its just the fact that so much ill has happened and I really am at my end.

I had another issue the internet would not connect this morning I was so frustrated I wanted to throw the computer across the room...

The thought of the internet problem the stolen towels, no car, and no work was eating at me walking home.
I immediately started dealing with the internet, struggling with the connection, firewalls and more. Finally I got the dlink, and the eithernet box and unplugged all of it and replugged.

It Worked!!! FELIZ ANOS NUENO!!!

I just wanted to scream

My Home computer that I use for photos, usually blogging, some business contracts, and the book I have been trying to write crashed yesterday. It got a very serious virus how is still not known. It may have been my friend who used it here a couple of days ago. I noticed it was moving slow, and it keep doing strange things. Or it could have been imported on some music I down loaded. But it crashed big time. Its a new computer by new I mean less than a year old. It deleted all my documents, ate windows, and more. I was just sick about this.

Ok lets see, Summing up the past year. There has been some very good things, and some extremely horrible things.

The Horrible first:
The mechanics with the car, the waterline breaking in the new office ruining a plasma and the bar, the owners of the mall never replaced it.
The St Regis issues, the Macaw horror story.
The car again, The Tony issues, the phone being stolen twice, the house broken into twice and stealing my computer,a little tv the only one I had, and some clothes.
The car getting stuck in the bridge hole, while piles of cars waited on a one way bridge, for someone to pull us out. The car sliding in the mountain and me falling into a huge colvert in the pitch dark, and the pouring rain. The Car again.... breaking down.

The land slide of the mountian of a client and us loseing alot of plant material, top soil half the mountain fell away and not to mention the money on that job.

My apartment flooding twice with foot or more of water in the middle of the night.

The car again.... Then the closing of the office and the loss of all the money that was invested in the building of it and the furnishing.
The car getting stolen smashed into the very resort I am working at, at one in the morning. Pretty much totaling it out. And last but not least now my computer crashed just at the end of year to top it all off!!! YEAH HAPPY NEW YEAR!!! FOR GOD SAKES IT HAS TO BE BETTER!!!

The good things:
I did some very nice design work, good experience, I met some incredible people, I saw and adventured to some pretty amazing places. I experinced some real tico living where poverty is the norm, a situation my friends and family could not understand where I slept on rugged floors, the kitchen consisted of dirt floors with no windows pretty much open with a fire for a stove and chickens were running through the house, light streaming through the rough wood walls, and the people who were incredibly happy, because they knew nothing more.

I was able to introduce a different life style to my best friend Clint, who is now effected by the way of living here and misses it dearly even though it is not easy and is not as sohpisticated as USA.

I ate food I never tried before, I lost alot of weight, became a little healther, had a surgery I wanted for some 28 years.

I learned how to dance, salsa, merenge, cumbia ,rumba. I flew in an open cockpit airplane, and saw spectacular sites. I road a boat to a very enchanted part of Costa Rica.

Visited San Andres Island, experienced many adventures with friends. Had my hands in a few projects, and began writting for the Jaco guide. Not much money was made, it was deffinately a loss year, a huge loss in money my whole life's worth, but a gain in life experiences, patients, faith, and learning how to be more humble.

Walking had shown me some other things about myself. Being forced to walk around , I see things I never saw before, the trees are so beautiful, sometimes the smells are bad here then in the evening you can smell the the ylang ylang. Its so fragrant, it makes me smile. I hear the macaws better and actually watch them fly. I learned that thinking when walking is good. I have tried to sort out my anger, fears, and frustrations.
I often think about my mother who, I claim was a wonderfull person, an amazing woman.. clever, witty, pretty darn smart with a third grade education. She would walk every day till she became to ill and died of cancer.

I need some answer's I want answers, as to how to regain my success, and survive.

That is my only goal for the upcoming year.. Oh yeah and three more good things happened today!!!

First, I met a man some three or more weeks ago, I had told him I would like some things from the USA when he returned, and I would give him the money. It was purfume, and couple of other items. I have not had purfume since Aug. He left them for me at Rosies, all wrapped in pretty Christmas paper.. I WAS SO HAPPY!!! one was Dolce and Gabana Light blue the other was be delicious by dkny. I have more I like but this was great!! then I picked up a Chunche guide here and found out THEY HAVE JAZZERCISE!!! I hope its the real thing I am checking it out tomorrow... How I am paying is another story, But that excites me! now the last thing.

I decided to walk back into town for the third time today, this evening after I dropped off the computer and realized I didn't have the code for the internet or a power cord. The guy recovered the system but no internet code,and the cord he did not return to me. So I knew I had to walk to the office some two miles or so from here and see if I had the code and cord.
Instead of going to the right which is the main road I decided to go left and take the cultisac way. When I looked to the left there was my crashed car???? in the lot next door??? I didn't pay to have it hauled here, nor do I know when it was put there but its there.

Some paid to have it towed here and didn't tell me. I wanted this so its safer and closer so when
I get someone to buy it its right here.. well someone did,it may have been Angely, but I don't know. I said yesterday the car is getting resolved maybe I said it ten or more times to myself not knowing how. It not quite resolved but its closer than it was yesterday...

Well Happy NEW YEAR I sure hope your past year was better than mine and that the future year is a hell of alot better than mine!!

Christmas Day in Manuel Antonio, and My Clients house

THIS IS ONE OF THE COVES IN MANUEL ANTONIO

This is just spectacular the water is warm

This is Playa Escondido, near the LOS SUENOS

This wall is huge, hand sculpted, stone all done in panels and then peiced together





This is a painted panel as you walk into my clients house but this is an example of how homes can be done here in COSTA RICA

This home is all open , the area here is bbq with bar, but there is more than one bar in this home

Hot tub

Example of the bamboo ceilings that are common here, JUST BEAUTIFUL!!!

If anyone is interested in Buying property here please contact me, or if you want to come and visit please contact me, I can set you up with whatever you need. I have so many connections, now and I get great discounts because I do speak very good spanish.

Marianna.love@gmail.com

Christmas Day

It is Christmas day, It was a nice day after all. I wanted to go to Manuel Antonio to the beach like Clint and I did last year. So I had met this family who were here from the south I we invited them last night for Rosies Christmas Eve dinner, that OF COURSE I ended up cooking. Here they celebrate on the eve of Christmas. Around 11:00 is when things begin. I had invited Joe, and Ken two men I met four days ago who came to try to develop a new business here. We have spent some time together as well. During the day Vorna Called and I met with him.
I had explained right off the bat that I had dinner plans and that he needs to get it straight that Do not want to be involved with him. But he does not get the hint. He is constantly saying suggestive things, even around a group of people that we shared the Christmas eve Sunset with.

I told him about the dinner, he asked if he could come so I of course said I am sure its ok.
When I arrived at the coffee shop, I began preparing and then people came. He was first.

I paid no extra attention to him other than being polite. It turned out to be a very nice evening. We all had a great time, I worked very hard helping waiting on people and cooking.
In the end This man was jealous and accused me of having something with one of the other. He got possesive, and said some things that were hurtful, after I had done everything I could to be attentive to everyone.

He did call and left messages today to ask if I was angry, actually I was more hurt by the put downs. He was angry that I want not to be involved with him. harrassment is the last thing I need. I did not return the calls today. I will address it tomorrow.

The reason to address it is because this family I met, decided they would rent a car and we would all go to Manuel Antonio.
Roise too, Ken and Joe. Steam boat, Joel, Bobbie and Jenifer, Rosie ended up taking her car So Joe and Ken and Rosie and I rode first while the family followed.

It was cloudy and they were late in leaving by the time we left it was after 11:00.

We stayed on the beach for several hours, we saw so many monkeys, Racoons, that came right up to us. That part was very nice. We also saw sloths in the trees. It was a quiet day really Rosie and I talked a little and shared time with that Family and Joe and Ken.

We drove back and watched the Christmas Sunset, nothing like yesterday it was stunning yesterday. Then we went to a Sea food place and order a light dinner. In the end of the evening I had talk to my son, and his girlfriend and Kelsey. I went down to Rosies for a couple of hours and had a coffee. Talked to the Family that showed up too. Then Vorna showed up, but only said hello.. I could see he felt guilty for the things he said.

I left and came back home. It was a very strange Christmas day.

Tomorrow, I must have hope that the resolution for the car happens.

Merry Christmas

Dreary Sunday

It was Dreary yesterday and now again today Sunday.I usually like to try to beach it on Sunday. But I guess not today. It sprinkled earlier about 8:30, so maybe it will clear up later on. But Right now its dreary. Not cold nice actually.

Yesterday was a simple day. I got up around 8:00, Joswea another friend of mine came by in the Morning to see how I was. He was the one I saw last week at the Malecone, at Sunset. He showed up with breakfast and visited me for a couple hours. He feels concerned, that I am not eating much so he was thoughtfull and brought something by. We watched a show on the tele, and then he went home.

Angely has not called. So maybe not? I like him but who knows about these things. I called him the night I baked to ask him to come down and have some pastries, but he was occupied. Its only a half block from where I was. I was going to ask him for dinner. But when I waited two hours and he didn't show. I just messaged him saying I am going home.
Not a word since.

So later in the day yesterday I walked into the office to check it out.
They had an invitation to the Wyndahm hotel office grand opening. Its a new of course another project being sold here in Jaco. Wyndahm Is a first class operation, they are selling the beach front condos beginning at 350 thousand. Its fourteen floors, In 2009 is the opening.
We all got invited to the office party and it was very nice. Hor de orves, and wine and drinks. The presentation was very impressive.
I met one of Century's clients there who was wanting to meet me, I thought for business but it was for otherwise.
I NEED BUSINESS!! I don't need another admirer... Well he is a nice man, Vorna, is his name.

He asked me out during the party, I said yes, But when he came to get me he was dressed in the same clothes as when I saw him earlier. I was dressed very nice. Its holiday even though here you don't see it or feel it I wanted to dress nice. I suggested we go to sushi, but he first took me to his room. I really felt uncomfortable, He wanted me to drink some rum, but I said I was fine.

After 20 minutes I said hey lets go and eat!! so we did, and he sort of talked alot about his divorce, and the ex, the other ex.. well it went on and on. I was bored. I ate and ordered Dessert!!! he ate most of it but it was good, Tempora fried bananas with Ice cream, and chocolate sauce with a few strawberries! I was more involved with the dinner and dessert than him.

He wanted to rush off and go back to the room. It was still early like 9:00 the town barely is waking up. I talked to Kevin for a minute and I could see my date was wanting to leave he walked off while Kevin and I chatted, it was only a few seconds.

I didn't want to go back to his room. Although it was a nice location right on the beach, I was dressed so nice, to nice to go and sit in his room and well!!! I knew what he was aiming at.

I didn't want to drink, I had a diet coke. It was a little chilly out, So I got one of the bed covers and we laid out by the pool in the lounge chairs and looked at the stars. He fell asleep, Then so did I, When I woke up it was like 3:50 in the morning. He was in the room.

He did try earlier to get me to frisky with him. BUT I WANT BUSINESS, he just bought several locations and one is a hotel that desparately needs renovation. He and I talked about it, he is going to invest alot of money in it and I said and of course your hiring me to do the renovation? he said he wasn't sure. But he was sure he was going to try to do something else with me! I was strong and didn't budge. I want the job not other things.

So when I woke I told him I was going home, he insisted I sleep there and he wouldn't touch me but I called a cab and went home. He is probably mad and maybe I blew the deal. But I just hate it when I get put into a position where sex is the key to the whole deal, then you get involved and nothing happens anyway.

He is Iranian, he played his arabic music the whole time. Very strong personality and mostly talked about his properties he bought and his ex's that was it really not much interaction with me or about things he likes or does.

He questioned me when I left, are you alright. yes I was fine but I just wanted to go to my own home. I felt sleezy staying in a hotel with a man I just met. I don't know if he is going to call but I feel like I should get dressed and go to Rosies which is where he said he was going to eat breakfast and try to save the deal. He wanted me to see the hotel today.
He is going to turn it into a Hooka bar, with rooms for rent. I never heard of this but he said in LOS ANGELES it is becoming very popular. I told him I belly dance, he said yes with belly dancers. The people here like the arabic music so it may be a great idea.

I may just do that, but god how do I get around the other part???

When you feel uncomfortable, it not good.

Well the sun is coming out so I packed the bathing suit and off I go walking into town, I make sure to call him later or make a call to try to get him to understand I want work.

I can tell he is very use to getting every thing he wants, He is a typical Los Angeles man, stressed, rushed, and well better not say!!

Off to the beach I hope!!! I know every one out there in the USA is running around like Chickens with there heads cut off, Trying to get ready for Christmas. In a way I kinda miss it, but in most ways I am happy I don't have that pressure. Still don't know what I am doing Christmas day. Maybe nothing?

Cheese Cakes lemon Merenge Pies and Cinnamon rolls

Ok I got the first reorder, I baked all day in the land lords house...!! Running up and down two flights of stairs, fighting with my merenge, because it is raining it woudn't FLUFF! After beating and beating, by hand I finally gave up and threw it out and starter over a dozen more whites, It worked but not like it would if it wasn't humid. They look beautiful!

Rosie is loving my ideas, she has me making other food for one of her other places, and in January she wants Lasagne and other little bits of salty foods with coffee for the afternoon caffecittos. Its not easy the Cheese cakes went perfect today as well as the cinnamon Rolls , but I think repetition will make it go fast from now on.

I am tired actually I am not use to baking so much. But I felt so good.. I actually had a dream about my mom, we talked in the dream. She was happy that I was taking after her in this? HOW STRANGE I thought, but I felt so happy when Iwoke up as if I had seen her.

This woman would bake till dawn, study her receipes for days.. She did the most beautiful pastries.. so MAMA I KNOW you would be proud of me.

I never thought I would be this, but hey its better than sitting here worrying about how I will make it. I won't make much, but ya never know? it could turn into something really good!

I am very thankfull for all the talents I have, I am fortunate, that I can be resourceful.


Well my friend Angely call yesterday, he is the guy Iwent to dinner with last week, and he visited me one day last week as well and brought all sorts of goodies for us to eat. He called and asked what I was doing in the evening. I told him I was meeting with Rosie for an order, that when I was done I would walk to his place and he if he would could take me home.

So I did, he was pleased, This guy is certainly different. Not gorgeous, but nice body
SWEET PERSONALITY. He is helping with the car, he has found a solution and I am very happy.
When he showed up he saw I had light bulbs on the table, he asked Where they went, with out me asking he got up and changed all the bulbs in the house. He fixed a whole that was in the ceiling that I couldn't reach. It is the opening to the ceiling where they installed the cable. I was shocked? then I fixed us some goodies, When I went to the fridge to see what I had to drink, there was nothing.. I said oh no tengo nada! He got his keys left and came back with ice and sodas. I didn't ask him to do any of that... I think I may be on to something good here????

I hope, he sure is a nice man. ITS ABOUT TIME, but I am not going to pursue, if he likes me he will continue if not a great friend will be welcomed.

We talked today, he said bessos when we ended the conversation, that means kisses... so maybe he does like me?
I bought him a card to say thanks for all the nice things he has done so far. Maybe Tomorrow I will invite him for dinner?
A little Christmas surprise for him.

Well I can not wait to see The faces at Rosies when I show up with all these goodies!

Taking it a little easy toda

I had to take it a little easy today, I walked so much yesterday that the leg that was injured some almost two years ago on my Birthday, was so swollen last night I could hardly move the ankle.

I rested today with up for a couple of hours. Then I couldn't stand it, I had to clean the house. It was not really messy, but the weather in the past couple of months has caused alot of mold everywhere.

The whole place smelled moldy. The leather the bed, everything. So I cleaned like a mad woman and now the house is spotless. Its so hot I was sweating like crazy but that kinda felt good.

Its late, now but I need to drop off the laundry, get some light bulbs which here is not a simple thing. you have to go to a hardware store to find what you want. Its not like the states that you can run into a store and they have everything!
Off I go, walking again.

Yesterday I had two other people come to check out the car they both said similar things. It might take around 4 to 5 thousand dollars to fix but the electrical is not determined. One offered me 5 thousand for the car the other wants to try to find someone to give me 8 thousand but it has to wait till after the holiday.

I feel worried, but I am trying to be positive in all aspects.
It has to get settled but here everything is so slow.
Its parked in front of the kids mothers house that crashed it with hopes that she would push the kids to get moving on it, but I have heard not one word.

Trying to do simple things is a task here, so this is super complicated.
The guy I met that is a manager of this little hotel and mini mart is really trying to help me. He seems like a genuine person but I am so cautious.

Now about the pastries there a hit, but no money yet. Maybe I have a little new business here. I thought when I get a reorder I may try to borrow someone's car and go to the better places and give samples and see if they want to order too.

None of My holiday decor has sold. I spent nearly $500 bucks, So today My plan is go to Nelsen ask Rodrigo to load them up take them to Rosie's discount them and at least try to recoupe some of the money. I am not a crafter, Its professional pieces like you would see in a magazine. They don't have them displayed at all so no one is asking.

I have no plans for Christmas, the only thing I wanted to to was go south with my friend Kevin and see a new area, but it doesn't look as of now that I have a ride. Its six hours away. We could take the bus, this is too much for me right now.

I need a huge miracle. IT COULD HAPPEN! I have hope. I won't give up.

Yesterday I waited all day for the people with the garden but no one showed up. I was dressed for hiking, it was too hot to walk back and change.
What I had done was meet the men for the car it was a little over a mile or so on that, then walked back to the office another mile. The later walked to Nelsens to find out about the holiday decor, then again to the office. Later that evening walked through town then home. I cleaned up rested and tried to put on some tall shoes, to go to Rosies to visit. She called. I eneded up breaking down and taking a taxi, then I had a ride home late from a friend.

Right now there is alot of pain but I have to go and take care of thes little things. It will make me feel better about my house and that things are in better order. Dirty clothes is an issue, its heavy hard to carry, but I have no washer or dryer here, and most people wash by hand and hang dry. In my apartment there is no space for this or lines to hang the clothes from.

Nothing special to say today, just simply need to press forward and think positive, wish for the things I want and pray it all happens.

Rosies Party on Monday and walking home

Leda, Raquel, Luis, Alysia, Rosie

Raquel Saluteing Rosie

IT was a nice party, I hope she is Happy! the weather was perfect, no rain and so cool. Now its getting super hot this is our summer.

Yester day nothing seems to come together, only my story for the Jaco Guide. I wasn't in an inspiring mood so I am sure its not that great! but I did it.. I spent most of the day in the office emailing and writting. I had a visitor at the end of the day it was a florist here in town, who wants me to colaborate on a botanical Garden. Sort of a public effort, and a place for Tourists to come and enjoy.

I like the idea and I know I could do a really cool place. But its finding investors. We have the property according to this guy. He said he thought about me directly and knew I would be the right one to contact to design it and make it happen. But I need investors, I want another investor for my orginal idea before I came to Costa Rica. I want my Bella Esperanza, this was a dream I had about this coffee pastry and some food house. I know the plan I have it on paper I drew it up some four years ago.

This Morning when I got up I had an email from Dick Voles, telling me to be positive, to not look at the disasters I have had, and honestly I have been trying super hard to do exactly that. Bella Esperanza means BEAUTIFUL HOPE. These were words that came to me, and I had no idea at the time what they meant. Bella Is Italian for beautiful, Esperanza is Spanish for Hope. This was before I knew much spanish. Weather or not its a good Idea I don't care. Its something that was in my heart for a year, I drew it up one day when I was working in my garden.

I had a sort of botanical Garden in my home, It was lovely. I worked it in all year long twice a week in winter and almost everyday in summer. This is where the idea came to me, I saw the whole thing in my head. Later I dreamed about it and the ideas formulated.

My son is a chef, I know how it will work. ITs hard work but it would be something for him, his family, and myself. lastly.

I am trying everything I can to think of ways to be strong, and how to recoupe. This business is a tough one but is well needed here.

When everyone ate my pastries they died!! they were saying oh my god Marianna, wow! I learned all this from my mother, I give her credit for it all. She was the best ever.. My mother could do anything and did it very well.

So now I follow after that.

Nine of the 13 people who ate my food all said you need to open a place or something?

It would be a good idea, hard work but good.

So now I am on this kick , but I want to see this property for the botanical garden, wouldn't be swet if it was close and incorporate bella? but Down town is best here where all the foot traffic is.

Now onto the yesterday, It was just as I said nothing coming together. I started to walk home around 5:00 when I notice how nice the sky looked. I decided to go a place that Cristhian and I would go for Sunset. Malacone, So I walked over the bridge and through the parking lot of the gym. It leads you right to the beach.

I went upstairs and sat alone only one person was there a Canadian guy I see often around town. He was drinking a beer, the sun was so beautiful. So I order one too.

I love the mechiladas, I got my camera out to take a photo of the sunset, when I felt a hand on my shoulder. It was a friend of my Jose, he wispered in my ear no flash.. he doesn't speak much english but I had no idea it was him I didn't look at him I was admiring the sunseta Then I looked it was Jose, he bought me another beer. We we chatted for a while, he asked me what I was doing on Christmas. I said nothing.. he said he had to work all day but he was going to buy me a gift. I thought ok, I am not sure I believed it but that was a nice gesture. He talked to me and hugged me I never said how I felt but he could feel it. Said not to worry that Tomorrow was a new day.

I ate a small pargo about the six inches long and a tiny little salad and then walked to the coffee shop in Galeon. That is where Kevin works. I stopped for a while talked and then walked to the house. It was about 8:30 Ate a litte left overs I had and fell asleep.

The dang dogs this morning from five oclock on were barking there heads off like a bunch of wild pack dogs. There ia quite a few at the corner neighbors house and I mean they were wild this morning. So it woke me up pretty early, I laid there but they continued so I got up made coffee and got ready. To meet this guy but now its past 10:30 I walked here fast only took me 25 minutes today. Its a long way but I put some old tennis on and shorts and practically ran.

Still waiting for him,

I did it, and then a story you have to hear

I began baking for Rosie's place about 8:30 am when I realized I didn't have a few things. Got dressed walked to the Frutastica, and saw all sorts of road blocks. I was curious but didn't know what it was about.

Often there are road blocks here, checking passports, and the retevy on the cars. This is a sort of registration.
Came back and fought with my oven. It would not stay lit, I had three cheesecakes made and ready to go in, I had all the pastry dough made and resting in the fridge. All day I fought untill Finally Roberto my landlord came down and I told him about it after checking for a half hour he decided to let me use his upstairs. Now imagine I went up and down all day checking loading unloading and preparing for Rosie.
Around 5:30 I was finished, and called her to come and get me. It was her birthday but we talked earlier about making these for her to begin selling. Just another way of me keeping busy so I don't loose it completly.

Nothing going on no work and not much in the bush.

But I hope everyday that MONEY COMES IN ONE FORM OR ANOTHER. Weather it be work or new project or new idea some way to bring something in.
So Rosie arrives, we load up its getting dark around 6:00 now. I was suppose to cook for almost 12 people.

She wanted chicken Marsala, Armenian rice pilaf and and Italian salad that I made for her before. Its with the mushrooms and parmesean, the pilaf she ate and died for it. Also the Marsala.. so After that all day I went and cook in the hot little service kitchen in her place.
It was tough because they had so many orders and there is very little room. So I found myself waiting and moving and waiting and then cooking it was a mess but I did it!!

While we were enjoying our dinner, talking laughing and cutting up. The news came on.
Some one earlier had said had you heard the news about Charles Boyd? that he had been arrested?
Charles is the guy that I was trying to do the big landscape job for, he and his wife, but now I know its not his wife.. gave me such a hard time. He asked me to take his name off the internet at one point and stop blogging about what I was doing at this house. It ended up totally bad sistuaion, And I was very angry that I took on the job and knew from the beginigng wasn't going to be good.

Well he got arrested for armed robbery, asault with a deadly weapon, drug trafficing, and false passport from Mexico.
I wont go into the details of my dealings with him but my assistant Clint, and Cristhian both witnessed a bad situtation with the brother and I who he looks scary than Charles. Clint wittnessed him bad mouthing me when he hardly knew me.
The dealings with this man was really harsh, I knew something was seriously wrong when one day he met me in the road to give me some cash.

He was talking to someone on the phone and told them were road blocks this was back in Sept. He said he had to change his route. I thought that was curious because he was driving a new car, had a big new house, a big new office and loads of cash. If you have a new car there is hardly a worry about road blocks they simply check the retevy, your passport and if its good you go nothing more.

I saw the video of him he looked very drawn, scary, and well some of the people here are shocked. I wasn't at all not kidding. In fact I thought oh oh not again. Not that it has anything to do with me at all, but several times in my life I have had people do horrendous things to me or about me. And soon they become fired, arrested, and other circumstances that are shocking.

You never really know someone do you? the dirty little secrets we all keep. I don't have many but we all have something we don't want to share with others. BUT THIS WAS CRAZY... he was so public, and tried with all the business people to be so on target, so professional .

Another reason to be ever so carefull about who you trust and allow into your life. I learned a big something today. For sure the next time REGARDLESS OF HOW MUCH I NEED MONEY, I will never go against my gut feelings again.
That could have been a really bad situation, not just a loss of money but maybe a loss of more than my life.

New day, yesterday was good!

It began with Helena and I going to the clients to collect the money from the Sale of the art.

It was beautiful yesterday, the weather warm and the breeze just slighty cool. We drove in her old red jeep up to Playa Escondido, this sits behind the Los Suenos resort on a road that goes up a hill lined with Chinese palms. This are the small palms that get to be about 6 feet max, and have rounded leaves in a deep green. The resort has planted the Jungle mountains all along the way on this road. Its is stunning to say the least. Helena and I both exclaimed as to how beautiful it was driving to there home. I am so thankfull when I see the natural beauty here that I live here. Even though I have had the utmost shocking, unfortuante times. I am greatful for whatever I have and my surroundings.

Things have to change for me, I was borned to be a success, not a poverty failure. Everyone has problems. And Yes happiness is from Within, but it is serious when you loose everything, and Money does not come in. But yesterday was a new day and being in those two incredible homes in one day was something that most people in the world do not get to experience. So I was happy to be exposed to such wealth and such classy lifestyles.

In Posting those photos I was in awe at how this Man Paul did this with no plans, and just did it as he went. Honestly I am that kind of designer. I know what I see and I know what I like and sometimes putting it on paper doesn't happen. When I do landscapes I always come up with a plan or a general perspective of how it should look and what goes where. But in Gardening, things change the plants grow, die and fill . It is always a work in progress. I want a place like Pauls, with Wandering Gardens that you can enjoy from below and above.
To see the grounds from all different perspectives is really fascinating.

He has so many specimens, and I about recognized all. I saw in an area where he could use the Planter's Palms it really is a Heliconia but it doesn't flower. It has towering branches that go from south to north and look amazing when there full grown.

I have a different view today, THANK GOD!! I was so worn down, so beat up.. But I have to pull myself back up and know that there is only one place to go now and that is UP!! I have so many abilties, Some of my friends are amazed at what I can do. When my son thinks of me he only says one thing that is great, and that is you are "REALLY TALENTED MOM"

Ok if this is so, then I must use my Talent to gain the wealth I deserve, the home I want and deserve, and the Relationship, I long for and deserve!!!

When I came here some time ago, my dream was, a home with a pool and huge garden. I Want the kids to come and stay, friends to fly here and visit and my place be a place to Entertain... but it has not happened none of that. But by God I have to get back on Track and find the dream. Dreams can happen.
I wrote about this some years ago when I told people how I got into what I do for a living, in an article I wrote. I need to read that to remind of how to get back on track.

Most Often lately I ask my self what is my purpose here on earth. Half the time lately I have no idea. But my son said don't worry about your purpose, just do what you need to to make yourself happy. So ok this week I am doing it, How I don't know... but I need a pedicure first let me start there so right now I have the water boiling, the nails are free of paint, and I have the tools ready to do it myself! Generally I get one but haven't had the money. So I am going to save that money its not much but I am going to do it myself, then the rest of the week find ways to make myself happy!

I need purfume,( now your saying this is silly) but women are very complicated, we need personal things to feel good. I have none not one bottle, while I was gone someone decided to use it or take it along with my bikini.. so that is something I am doing this week too!

This little Columbian girl needs my help with her clothing repair shop, she makes a line of bikinis called Sexy 7 and well I am going to help her this week and ask her for part of my payment in one or two bikinis!!! CUSTOM MADE!!

Anyone interested in these PLEASE WRITE ME AND I WILL POST PHOTOS AND TELL YOU HOW YOU CAN BUY THEM AND I WILL SEND THEM TO YOU...

Another thing, I am going to Paul this week asking him if he wants to buy Felix Murillos art that I sold to the Voles, Felix is from here, he is becoming very famous for Painting to Concerts. He is amazing. He is a friend of mine personally. His art is really different the styles change from one to another.. but Paul has money, and If I sell I make a nice chunk, Then somhow I would love to rent out Pauls place for vacationers, or for parties, or HELL I WANT IT FOR MYSELF!! some way I am turning this around.

Now the car:
Tony, the old Tony offered me a 1991 Toyota, he said it was valued at $4000.00 but I looked a couple of them up here and there only worth about $1900.00. Yep I need a car but I am not sure about this deal. They want to take the car and give me this old junker. It appears to be ok, but god its old. And how do I know how much there going to get out of this car? I want a truck, that is what I want.. a nice one BLACK WOULD BE GREAT! but I need a vehicle that works for what I do. So On Monday I have a couple of other people looking at the car and telling what they will give me for the heap. This needs to be solved this week.


Still don't have the feeling of Christmas, funny I want to feel it but yet I don't.

Well Off to the beach, to pray and turn this head around. Maybe hitting the bottom will be such a source of Inspiration for others that I become some sort of resource for people to use and turn their lives around!!! I hope?

Couple of things: Bikinis: Sexy Seven, Art: Felix Murillo, The home in TOUCAN CALVO, all for sale. Interested please email me: Marianna.love@gmail.com or comment on here