Tuesday, April 03, 2007

Rainy Tuesday morning

It was an early morning today, around 5:00 I heard birds singing. My thoughts are fixed on two things. I cannot stop thinking about two situations.. the personal one, and the business one. I get up and stumble around my hair today was wild when I woke up.. I looked like I had slept in a wind tunnel all night.. I felt better this morning than I had for several weeks. I made the coffee, went out and read and drank my coffee. I didn't eat anything at all I just sat and stared at the birds. When I heard the crows of the Macaws... I looked up and there were two, and two more came and landed in front of my apartment.
I remembered Sunday when I saw them fly over my head as I laid in the hot sand. Two together and one alone. Once again I saw them and now right in front of me, no one else around... I knew right then that was a sign. That I would have blessings for the rest of the day. I actually thanked God for the birds there so beautiful and what a gift so that we may enjoy.

I ran in right away took a shower got all prettied up, pink all pink today.. and made a decision to try as much as I could to let the cares slip and enjoy the Semana Santa like all the locals.
I drove to Christians work and said Hello and showed my face for a few minutes he was having lunch at break. We talked and I left about five minutes later... then went to the laundry and picked the mound of Clint's Clothes. Stopped to see if Diego was around and noticed the place was packed. I saw this dark handsome Portuguese man named Carlos.. We Waved and I drove off to the house.
Gather up Clint and on we went through town to see all the tourist's and check out what was happening.

When we arrived to the office shortly there after the rain began.. its nice because it cooled off the heat that was weighing on you when you went outside. Like a lead coat you instantly begin to sweat, even if your just standing doing nothing... So that was a very nice refreshing relief from the oven.

Nothing is going on so I am drinking a fresh Cas and Clint is on line emailing good friends.

Last night we both went to Doce Lunes again there was a dual art show there father and daughter. We had a beer met some people we both knew and then went to the show. The art was strange.. some of it was a bit deranged if you asked me? The daughter was a pretty sight for any eyes. Strikingly tall Blondie but tiny structure. The Father a bigger guy with grizzled hair, his paintings were geo metrics with forms always some form of a cross, a nude man, and spheres... hers were estranged women's faces, some with running lipstick and smeared all over their faces, one had a stork perched on a pedestal above this one woman?? I knew what that meant FERTILE WOMAN.. I was a bit shocked at her worked honestly I wondered if it was self portrait.. many with two women next or close to one another???
It was interesting to say the best. We had some hor dors enjoyed the beautiful Gardens there At Doce lunes. At night its all lit up looks so spectacular with the huge bejuco wrapped trees and the feeder roots hanging from the limbs, dangling.
We returned to the house and hour or so later, we talked on the porch again and I was first in bed. Maybe the reason I got up so early it was only 10:30.

Monday, April 02, 2007

The Weekend and Mondays hope

Marcos showed up, we meet but he had called Christian also, I saw Christian on the street in his car we stopped and talked for a moment, he had grown a new go t, looked really handsome. We both drove to the center of Jaco to pick up Marcos. I talked to Christian for only a minute, he is not very responsive to me any more. I Have no idea what is in his head because we only speak in Spanish and although my vocabulary is building, I do not have enough words to ask him what is going on in his head about me?

I was wearing a white lacy dress it was very sunny and hot, when I got out of the car I had many men looking and actually stopping in the street to stare. This is common here, Men just admire who they please and sometimes its me. This day it was many men and it almost caused an accident in Front of Christians car. I saw Marcos walking I waved and he came to me and smiled. We hugged while Christian looked on and just stared. Then he greeted him with a handshake and asked what was up? Marcos and I left to go meet some people I wanted to introduce him to to help support his Eco tourism project. We told Christian and this other guy, Graven to meet us later for a beer. It was very hot and sunny and he was sweating allot, I do think there was more to the sweat than the sun.
Later Christian messaged me and told me where to meet them. We met up had a beer talked and Christian was a bit concerned but didn't tell us he was leaving to go to Puriscal like hes has been doing every weekend now. I invited him to hang out with us and so did Marcos but he said no, I asked for him to stay for dinner and he told me some excuse.
The evening went without them, Marcos and I and Clint had a nice dinner, we bbqued cook some chiote, and salad. We relaxed on the balcony and the three of us talked some, Marcos shared with me some facts about Christian and made me think allot about him while he was talking.
He use to be a upper end enforcement officer, I think the pressures of the job and the fear factor is the cause for him to quit and now works some very menial job.

Marcos, I and Graven, Christian's friend went out for the evening. I really didn't drink, I didn't have much money so I just watched and danced an awful lot with many people who knew me but I didn't know most of them? Very strange this night so many people called out my name, Marcos thought I knew the whole town. Lots of people recognize me now. Actually shocking to me, I was not sure I liked it. My spirit was down and I didn't feel enchanting.
But I smiled and said hello...
The night went on till three, We walked to the Tico taco and I had one first time I have done that late at night. All that dancing made me hungry. We took a cab and went back to the house, Marcos stayed with us. He left early in the morning, Clint and I went to the beach right in back of the apartment and swam allot during the day. I was very hungry and tired. We took a break from the sun and went back to eat some lunch but I didn't have much in the house so he ate and I watched and drank some tea...

Returning to the beach to lay some more, I watched the clouds form, how beautiful the sky was bright blue with lots of soft billowy white clouds. Looked allot like white cotton candy.

I tried to ease my mind and imagine what the clouds were forming, but I didn't see anything in particular but the beauty of the sky.

The water was warm very warm, but clear you could see the bottom even through the thick foamy waves. I could see it was getting rougher out there I got knocked down once, this was enough I was too tired to fight the sea. I got out and laid until Clint was done. Then we walked back to the house and made sandwiches for dinner.

I wanted to just do something, because the apt is so small, there is no TV now and no Radio only the coffee maker and microwave stove. It is pretty boring although Clint and I talk much, sit on the balcony its still pretty dead in there. So my thoughts were that on Sunday Doce Lunes has free Movies and Free popcorn.( We don't have a movie theater) We go at 7:00 no show. It was theatrics, but never began, we waited for a hour, Christian called the moment he returned to Jaco we talked about 15 minutes, then I dropped off Clint and went and met Christian Down town to talk for a few minutes. He seemed very nice, Different. He told me that Today he may bring his sister to meet me.. I hope so that will be at least something to look forward to in the day. There is no work here this week, it is Semana Santa, the easter week.
All places are closed and no one works period. We have no idea what were doing?

I had hope on Sat, one of the investors made yet another false promise. He agreed to deposit his share in my account. But this morning when I got here and read the mail, he has said oh first I must email RON, and find out what he says.. hes in Rome I don't think I am a priority .Yet another ploy to avoid paying what they owe. My hope was pretty much smashed after reading that... I have no game plan now. I can't even come up with one. I am so beat down more than I ever have been. All I know is I have photos the work is good, I gave more than was agreed.

I had several letters today from readers, one who knows me personally and is very upset. She said Marianna, you always give above what is expected, your work in the end is always Absolutely Beautiful! when I read this from Barbara, I cried... its because I have done many things for this Client, they know my heart too.. I would never cheat anyone and in fact I give give give... Or l try to at least. I thanked Barbara, she said she would be sending me good thoughts... I NEED MORE THAN THOUGHTS!!!! but it helps!! thanks Barb and Bill.
One other reader said he loved me, although he doesn't know personally or in person, he knew my heart now. And that he felt I was a real person someone who does share it like it is and tries her best to do what is correct. I thank you Vegas nights.. I cried also when I read your mail. I appreciate all the support I get from my readers and my friends. I have little family, none here to support me.. so I welcome the thoughts and the comments. It is helpful for me to sort, although I always use my judgement, mistakes yes many in my life.. but hasn't everyone made mistakes?? My self very many.. But I always ask for guidance in knowing the way. I hope this helps someone? because maybe this is my total purpose in life.

Saturday, March 31, 2007

Again nothing new this week, I have been calling and out there to develop new work, but nothing coming through. I really hope this is not a disaster here.

I been saying good things trying my best to be positive! that Macaw will pay. But no results. I physically talked to them all of them and I was but only to be lied to and promised to pay, to have the administrator promise on Thursday to deposit, and that was the day he had planned I am sure for months to fly to Rome for Easter Vacation.

Yes he flew away to Rome knowing all the time he was leaving and only pacified us with this false promise.
With no regard to live up to his words.

I want Revenge, but I know better. Never in my life have I taken revenge on anyone that has done me wrong. If ever there was a time this is it, but I can't I have too much knowledge of Gods word, and that knowledge will not allow me to lower myself to the level of deceit that has put upon me. It is highly possible that nothing good will come of this project, I am more than sure I am not the only one who is having a hard time with these people in getting some sort of payment. Its allot of money I mean allot, with out it the possibility of me faltering is knocking at my door. No house, no office, no food even?

Some how in my life I seem to manage no matter the destruction, the hardships, the pain or the ill will that is put on me. But I swear this time I am really struggling with this. I came to Costa Rica to have a better life, to live simple in which I do, I really do not have many material things, with the exception of my office.

I don't spend loads of money, I don't have it.. To live with less struggle is my aim. I am facing a fear, I know that everyone has fear and I am pretty fearless and live as much as I can by faith. By which I know the average person may have no clue how to live . Its not easy, and it is worrisome, but I have only lived like this so I have to I suppose? The fear has been effecting me greatly, my health and my spirit. I went from Happy in Feb but was struggling before that, to very depressed in March.

I am grateful that At least I have my friend Clint with me other wise who knows what I may be doing? At least he listens to my cries, my hurts, and my sorrows and tries his best to be consoling. He is a true friend also.
I think honestly life deals what it will and it is all about how your accept it and deal with it and move on. I shake it off everyday,yet in the night when it is time to go to bed, I am alone in the world. The troubles sometimes overcome me, but I still get up early try to face the day with hope and faith, and with a little bit of joy....

This weekend I have a visitor, its Marco's from Cabana's siempre verde. He is Christians friend, we plan on just visiting and maybe include Christian if he likes.
He has been very distant, I can understand I have not had good news in days sometimes friends just hate to be around others that are not doing well. I realize this is not fun for him. I was right about the short term freindship, but maybe with Marcos we can talk and I can understand more about his distance. Please check out Marcos sight its cool... www.cabanasiempreverde.com

Monday, March 26, 2007

Not a Whole lot going on lately. No new Projects and no leads. We have been beating the bushes, although there are plenty of new projects nothing is in the stages where were needed? I heard from my son Jordan today that was nice he has a new job at the Oak tree cooking. He is a chef and now I hope he will hang in there and do well! That was great news to hear that he has a new job. I also heard from Brandon saying he is fine and does not like to type on the MSN chat and that was all.

This past week was spent being pretty ill. I had some sort of virus, not to mention the house getting robbed, after my cell phone was stolen the week before. I sure have had my share of bad situations this month. This virus is mean, it makes the whole body hurt, starting in the neck and spine. Then fever, and excruciating headaches, then in day four I had a red rash break out all over my body. I prickly one that was very intense. I makes you not want to do anything. Fevers were not continual, but would break out in a moment for like a hour and then go away. I went to the pharmacy but he said it was some sort of bug in the skin? I really didn't think so so I suffered it out now I'm in day 9 I am still a little head achy not bad but occasionally a sudden itch breaks out or a sharp nerve ending elusively in your body for a few seconds. I talked to several people who have the same exact thing? strange! but I think I am on my way to feeling better.

I have not heard from Christian he had it too and left to go home to Puriscal. That was four days ago. Maybe our friendship has been only a short one? I dunno? but it seems strained.

Clint is Bored there is nothing to do, we laid out at Marla's yesterday but it was over cast and not really any sun. Although I got a tan he was wanting blazing hot to burn I guess? it was perfect to me, not feeling well I slept later in the chair by the pool. We went in the sea it was nice the water was clear yesterday and warm. The salt on the skin felt so good.

Still do not have my car back it has been in San Jose for now four weeks. They have only repaired a few things. It has been a real struggle no car sick, getting robbed, no phone... GOD!!!! now what? I been riding the bus, taking taxi's only once did Marla offer a ride, One time from Diego. I know when I get my car back if other people need a ride or help I am going to make sure that I help. You really know who your real friends are when your down. Diego is a real friend he has helped more than once.
I sure hope that car gets fixed this week, and that MACAW PAYS!! still nothing from them, even though we have made all sorts of attempts to negotiate and resolve. Its been hard.

Yesterday, I was very inward, I hardly talked, I have been sort of withdrawn since I got sick. For more than four or five days not talking much at all. Just thinking about my life and now what? and is there a reason for all the destruction that is going on. I searched my soul, wondering who I really wronged? I honestly try in my heart to be kind and good to others, and project positive energy but it has very difficult this past few months to be that. I have had great moments since Clint has been here, but it has been extremely difficult.

I thought and thought yesterday how to be inspired and how to be encouraged, how to make the best of every situation, with out having anger or become bitter towards things. I was laying on the lounge chair by this beautiful pool,( which by the way is not mine its my friends by the sea) great full that at least I could do this and enjoy the day this way.

I was looking up at the palm tree's swaying when I saw some Macaws red ones three of them fly by. One alone, in general I had friends, and I know quite a few people, but usually I am like the Macaw. Flying alone. I saw how beautiful they were and how easily they flew in the breeze, hardly flapping there wings. Gliding along the one that was alone was far from the other two. The two were close obviously a couple. I was told that once they loose there mate they are forever alone. Sad, and yet life's parallels them.
I just talked to Eida, she called with the same thing I had that makea about six people I know that had it. she was complaining that here whole body was itching and was miserable. I know how that feels it was intense.

We may close early and go see her daughter Kaylene model at the Copa. She is now going to some modeling school and its her first runway I think? So I may just close early and go. Nothing much going on.

I pray god sends work and money that is owed to me...

Friday, March 16, 2007

Hearing from old friends

I had a couple of Emails this week from old friends, it was so nice to know that people in the states still think about me. One was a high school sweet heart that has kept in touch with me off and on since we were sweethearts, he is doing well and promised to come and visit, but ya know how that goes?
I won't count on it but it would be cool to see him after all this time.
The other was a boyfriend of mine for three years and he is doing very well also. I really enjoyed Moe, he was a cool man that I shared three years of my life with. It was so nice to see his mail, and know that he still thinks of me often.

This week was quiet, we Eduardo and I only did some calls to try to develop new business. Coming up with stratigies to make money, and talking to new people. We attended the Jaco Chamber of Commerce if you will? did not know that Costa Rica would have that. We actually Joined it. So now i am a member of the chamber. It was a fun event. They held it outdoors of course, because it is so hot. It was on the beach at the Best Western. They had lights strung from poles like a net above us, and lights wrapped around the base of all the trees. They served Pina coladas, Margaritas, rum and cokes, and beers. We had Ceviches, and little sandwiches. Some sort of desserts. They showed a presentation, of the developments of Jaco and the surrounding area in the last two years many people have now moved into the area for the developments. In the Presentation, I saw three times my work in Macaw they used it in the presentation. It was nice but, it made me feel strange knowing that I have yet gotten paid for the project.

But all in all it was a nice night, Christian went along and Eduardo came too. We networked, and enjoyed the night.
The following day I got up early as usual, WHY I DO NOT KNOW.. but I did, eating lately has not been part of a priority for me. Although still fat as ever!
I spent the day in the office, nothing much going on. Then at Night I hitched a ride with Ed to town Ate at Diego's a tiny little salad, then walked from one end of the town to the other to see my friend Rosie. I had a Sandia there, that is a watermelon drink very tasty! Talked to a few people and then went to see Helen my crazy Colombian friend. She has a hot dog stand that I did a little investing in along with another friend. She is nuts, funny lady, we sat and talked, one guy saw me and immediately asked me to go inside the Monkey bar, its a disco tech he wanted me to dance. I did for like one dance came back out. Talked to Helen some more then took a taxi home.
I just couldn't sleep that night. I didn't eat allot I didn't drink coffee, so I had no idea what was keeping me up.

Then yesterday Again I had slow day we made two connections and are working on some new plans for a proposal, not the job yet. I went to breakfast with Ron Batt, he is an old client. Then he took me to the office nice of him.
Later in the day Eric called and offered me a ride home. We went and looked at some apartments that he wants me to rent, Right next to his so that when Arya comes I will be next door.
It does have a pool but they really look Ghetto.. I don't know? Its cheap but it is so small. Anyway we went into town took me to the bank, then dropped me off at my apartment.
Christian called so he and I went out for some food, and talked about us.
He is tender, sensitive, and loves to tease me. I know I am way too much for this one. But is nice to have someone to talk to and share a bite to eat with now and then. Not so much a companion just a nice guy friend.

Today is Friday, its St Patty's day but No one here celebrates it, I wore green anyhow! don't know what the night will bring but I hope something fun.. who knows it may not!

Monday, March 12, 2007

The quiet Weekend alone

Had a very quiet weekend but still had a little fun. I spent the day Saturday here in the office. I had one client come in for some furnishings that they want custom made, its not much but at least it is something. I may have a friend of create this.

That day was quiet I blasted music in the store but no one came in. They were having a bike rally, some 200 bike riders road from Escazu to Herradura. That is a huge way to bike over high peaks and winding roads. How they can do that is amazing to me. I can hardly drive that road let alone bike it! but out of the 200 only about 15 dropped out. I saw quite a few roll in around 2:00 when I left the store. It just didn't make sense to have the air and the power on when not a soul was around.

I felt depressed, so I took a cab to the first entrance of Jaco, Where I got out to see Costaino, a Friend who is like the skunk pepe la pew on the cartoons. He malls me and hugs me and smooches all over me while I push away and actually kick some times. Occasionally it is fun to see him but this time he was very pushy and would not let me go. I got upset and ran out of his place, then to see my Friend Eida, I have not seen or been around her in a while.

We went to Mataplatano not to long ago, but that was the last time about 4 weeks ago. She is building a killer two story business mall on the main street where her old Jaco bell was and her souvenir store.
It is fabulous she was working right along with the tile setters setting tiles when I walked up. We ended up going having a small bite to eat, then I stayed at her house with her Daughter and hung out for the afternoon evening.
Her husband made a BBQ with fresh fish. I made Guacamole we had some other people come by so we had a nice evening. Then the people that were visiting. two men volunteered to take me to my apt.

That was nice because I really didn't want to ride in the taxi. The car is still in San Jose so I have no wheels, or phone.

It was about 11:00 when I got home and there was a message on the machine it was Christian he was sad he missed me and just let a nice little message. He was in Puriscal for the weekend with his family.

I got up early the next day, not that I wanted to and began right away to clean the house. I started by washing the porch off with the hose. The man Down stairs came out screaming and yelling and calling me names saying his bike got wet, I tried to say sorry but he was being a total butt hole. I just let him yell I felt like squirting him but I kept it cool. Like it hurt anything. IT is so dusty there, that even if you clean every day the dust is a inch thick so, I noticed that this morning that encouraged him to actually clean his own porch.
That type of Morning is not a way to begin, I felt sad and almost cried, as I was depressed already being alone, no wheels no phone... then trying to make the best of things and being busy cleaning getting yelled at? WHY?

Then I cleaned the whole place , like a mad woman... I mean everything including my drawers and my closet. That took me about two hours total.
When Ken Called, asked me to spend the afternoon evening with him.
I told him I was going to the beach to get some sun, so I would feel less depressed he explained he would come by the beach and look for me. But he didn't I ended up going to Marla and Bills to lay out and enjoy the pool.
I spent the day there not eating a thing the whole day. I did enjoy the sun though.
Then Marla broke out some wine, I had one big glass and of course was tipsy at that point. So I left walked home and checked my messages nothing! I made some Tuna that is really good here, it has Jalapenos, and carrots in it, I put a little Avocado and laid down on the bed. That was all she wrote!

I went right to sleep. Then about 7:00 I heard the phone it was Christian checking on me saying his battery is dead and that he would be here today sometime. I went right back to sleep, only to wake up at 12:00 to worry, and frustration. I could not sleep then. So I turned the TV back on and just stared at something no brain er.. so I wouldn't think about anything.

Finally I fell off and woke up early as usual around 5:45. I made coffee then the power went out. So I sat outside and listen to the birds, read my bible and prayed. Took some time for peace of mind you might say.
When the power came back on I showered and got ready to leave.


Took a taxi to work but nothing is going on here at all no walk ins no calls,I been listing the bills I have. Calling around to see If I can get some leads. But nothing yet.
So lets see what the day brings.

Ken and Marcia came by we had a cappuccino and talked a bit and now they left to go to San Jose so I am here listening to Jazz and trying to be positive.

It is gray today, hot by gray, no sun. haven't eaten yet.. I just have no desire to eat. Too worried...

Friday, March 09, 2007

Catastrophes galore!

Oh the joys of being in business and Living in Costa Rica!! I am sure that this happens everywhere in the world but I have to say that these last few weeks here have been living, bloody hell!

It began with not being able to find the repair shop for the dealership in San Jose a week and half ago. I was so frustrated, there are no street signs no directions, no addresses... and people use landmarks but in San Jose every street and lots of areas are very much the same. Its confusing, and lots of traffic. I rode for three hours with Clint trying to find the stinking place only to end up in crying and throwing in the towel. I will say I am pretty darn good finding directions I have had to many times with Clients in the past and in different cities but this was the worst. I actually felt so sick I had to stop get out of the car and go walk around for a while. My stomach was so upset. Clint just let me be and looked around in the Pequeno Mundo store.

Clint has left now he flew out yesterday we, Diego and I took him to San Jose but first we shopped a little and hung out. Then we dropped him off to head on the search again for this repair place that is not connected to the dealership. It took us a while finally I was mad just turned down a street he told me not too and there it was. We talked to the people there the guarantee is two years. The car is a year and half old. They made a decisis on to not hold to the guarantee? Diego argued with them for more than a hour. I was getting that same feeling sick in the stomach and head. Finally I said this is enough I can not argue any more. I paid cash for the car, It is a Tianna, Cross lander, My son told when when I bought it , that is was Crap and it is... The seat is coming apart, the front head lights water leaks when it rains, the emergency brake does not work and it has rolled twice and hit a tree once and then hit a bench the second time ruining the bumper. It has a ticking sound in the air, I have replace the alternator, I had wiring done on the Air conditioning. There is more... so I guess I am sorry that I got this!!! trying to be economical, and safe at the same time. Anyhow
We left the car, we came to some sort of agreement, honestly I do not know what it was but the car is there hopefully getting fixed.

I used My cute pink flat cell phone that I love twice while I was there and I believe I slipped it into my purse, but when we got into the taxi I did not use it, nor did I use it when we ate before taking a bus for three hours back to JACO, on the bus I noticed the phone was not with me??? I freaked, because that is my main source, Clients call me on this phone, everyone calls me on this phone, and My fear was that someone would get it and call all over the world. Oh was I sick on that bus.

It was late about 6:30 when we caught the bus, the traffic was horrible so it took us instead of two hours three hours to get back. Diego slept all the way, I was wringing my hands, praying and asking God why my life lately is so rough and hard... how much more can a person take?

First the not finding the place then when we returned to Herradura that day a waterfall of water was pouring from the front window facing the people. We had a plasma in that window for advertising and showing things we do day and night. That got ruined and so did the ceiling and part of the walls. So they had to rip it out and replace everything, we have not gotten the plasma yet. Then this week I have all my bills on auto pay, well here its not exactly auto pay I found out! I did not have water, power or lights one night and one day in both my house and the office. I fought with ICE the company here who con trolls all of that.. and come to find out it was the bank. It wasn't because of no funds, it was because.... someone who would not take the blame who does those Auto matic didn't do the auto matic??? I know I know it doesn't make sense but allot of things here do not make sense. TO AMERICANS... I was so ANGRY.. hot, and dirty too no water for toilet, no water for shower no lights no fans no air... Oh my god... then problem with Macaw, and now the cell phone stolen? WHAT ELSE???? well the phone was in Tony's name so they can not shut it off with out his permission. I called him and explained I hope he does it, then when I do acquire another phone if I can? he has to sign docs to turn the line back on? Oh boy what else??

I have no car this weekend, no phone so I guess I walk to the beach and hang out in the sun and just try to be Tranquilla.

Ed, the guy who works with me, along with Clint as I said is gone now... was only here two days this week and left just now. So the place is quiet, I am typing with the TV blasting hoping that some wonderful client comes in!

I just wonder how much the threshold of exasperation can handle?

Tomorrow is a better day... I will alone all weekend, maybe I can find someone to take me around who knows?

Monday, March 05, 2007

The great adventure for me anyhow!































Clint left on the bus to go to Manuel Antonio for the weekend, I woke up extremely sore on my left side of my upper shoulder. The pain was so bad that it was hard for me to get up, I also had something wrong in my throat it was really irritated and hurting. It took forever to get up and going I went to get the nails done and a pedicure with the hope that I would feel much better by being a little pampered.
I had so much stress the day before with Macaw that I know it affected my health and my spirit. When I got the manicure shop, another gal was there and offered to give me a slight massage to relieve the pain, she could see in my face. I am not exaggerating it was really bad. I toughed it out an she massaged relieved it some. After Jenny finished my pedicure I came to the office to see what would happen for the day.
I wrote on the blog talked to a couple from London, and then Christian called. I guess he was concerned about me because I had told him about tense situation with Macaw and how they have for months run me ragged changing and changing and changing.. Never satisfied. Yet I continue to work and pray they pay the balance due. I think he told me knew someone in the police department, his father works for the nation prisons here and he has some people in high places that he said he would talk to about helping me with this. Contracts here mean nothing so if your thinking that think again. I have one but they don't care and they live in the USA so I presume they feel it would be difficult to get anything pressed against them. Anyway enough of that. Christian had a brilliant idea, That we go to the national Park called Cangreja National park where a close friend of his has an ecotourisum project. He called a couple of times to my office to convince me to go, he knew I didn't feel well, but he insisted and now Today Monday I am very happy he did! I feel one hundred percent better!!!
The name of the project is www.cabanassiempreverde.com It sits on the mountain near the highest peak in Costa Rica. The road is winding and long and sprinkled with little houses here and there and small communities that are primitive and relatively simple. A few little bar's and some sodas here and there too. Lots of Motorcycles, and horses. We drove from Jaco about an hour and forty minutes.You can enter from Parrita as well, and I think from Puriscal too, but we went another route, for a scenic view.
It was very humid, I had on Capri jeans, and a summer top. Even though I was hot. Upon arriving We met Marco's he is the project owner. It is a small simple project consisting of as of now two cabana's two eco bathrooms all out doors, no electricity and only spring water. He has a desire to teach people Spanish and preserve the country that he loves. This is really a cool place, but at first I did not know what to expect, and I was not really up to myself . So I was quiet and only listened to him and followed down a steep path with thongs no tennis! the path was cut into the mountain side. From the moment you step down its thick lush jungle habitation. Lots of trees, vines, plants and bananas. plantanos, and palms. REALLY BEAUTIFUL! but a smidge scary.. I didn't know what to expect.
For Christian it was nothing he was raised right near all this, his home was only a few kilometers away. Marcos and he are really close friends. I met others later.. But first the details on the walk down to the cabana while it was still light enough to see where it was and how to get to it.
we had our bags only one small one for me and for Christian a back pack. I was scared always anymore about my bad foot. I only had thongs on and that was pretty steep. For The people there it is normal. We walked a ways then crossed a small stream with a tiny bridge he built, a dried root in strange form was on the right hang size the size of a large tree in the shape of snakes, he carved on of the arms into a head of snake and make it a shower from the stream. Pretty cool, but I hate snakes! I would want it spitting on me.
Then we came to the first one, it was occupied of all things by a woman from Corvalas Oregon. She was displaced a little. Trying to deal with the heat.
Then he showed us the bathroom made of teak, and palm leaves and all eco.
I used it then thought I guess this is pretty cool.
Then we walked further to our cabana, they are built above the ground on stilts, go and see on the site and you can see Marcos there too! there really kinda cool. It was a stretch for me, but fun! we talked for a while he explained to us about the flashlights that have no batteries, then told us what time dinner was at his mothers house that is totally self contained right down the methane gas they used made from the manure of the pigs they have.
No hot water, actually it is not necessary, its so hot.
Then we all decided to go the local watering hole which is about two blocks on a mountain side near the main house. The main house is small and very primitive, the roof has openings in it, and its made from tin. The family consists of Grandma who is in her late eighties, the father who is about 58, the mom same age, the two sisters and Marcos, but I think Marcos lives down in the jungle project.
We drove the car to the watering hole, and I met allot of Christians distant family, and friends. It is a bar out doors but children, and family go for social gatherings. They also have a community hall where they have dances,and other get together. There is a small catholic church a small pulperia,( store) and a souvenir maker. Oh yeah and one room police station. So its a small village.
We had a couple of mecheladas, and talked to a few people, then returned to the main house and ate a dinner of pasta with a delicious sauce of fresh tomato, onions, and I think Garlic? not strong, and some sugar??? I think?? it was fairly good. You see when you stay at the Cabana's it includes dinner, breakfast and lunch. If you want other things the store is open till nine at night.
We then went down the cabana, it was dark, Marcos made a bomb fire, not that it was cold he only did it for the ambiance of it. It was so special and so nice! We had some more beers, and sat with candles lit and talked for hours. Christian brought a CD player and we played American Music all sorts of it, the latest stuff! The gal from Oregon was interesting, but different. The three of us Marcos, Christian and I had a great time talking. Marcos speaks perfect English. He told me he had at one point a girlfriend from Washington state... that will be told later, once I find out more but funny thing is I think I know her, and it may be I know her very well.
She was here for two months.
It was a full moon, very romantic and I felt it, so did all of us. We danced and enjoyed the nature of being outdoors. Although I was a little scared not knowing what was staring at us or lurking about??? but I continued to have a nice time. My spirit was so changed.
Later we retired to our Cabana , it was scary walking to it in the dark up the trails, and through buttresses, Bejucos, and trees. The stair case to the upper level was steep, but Candles were lit and all was well.
I slept well except now and then hearing animals howling, making their noises, and singing birds in the night. Occasional dropping of something on the roof that banged pretty loud now and then. But I did rest and in the morning I got up before he did and walked around down in the morning light to see how it looked. It was beautiful! so untouched so natural and so different. I felt lucky to have experienced this, and it was so different than anything I have ever done in my entire life, but it was more like Camping only in the jungle.
We got up. got dressed and walked through the trails to the other cabana, it had water.
Washed our faces brushed our teeth and then walked up the mountain to the house. His mother has made a fresh breakfast, or fried Cheese that she makes from the milk of there cows.
Fresh tomato, eggs from there chickens, and Pinto, which is beans and rice mixed with celantro and onion, red pepper. Fresh Watermelon and the most delicious coffee ever grown right there. They do not have a peculator, she makes it on the stove.
The butter was fresh too.
It was nice quiet and different.
After breakfast I walked about the property, Marcos gave me a tour. Its not much to look at but they are all self contained. Actually I was thinking how nice no worries no bills, Could I live like this? Its a thought honestly.
WE looked at the horse and Marcos asked me Marianna are you having fun, I shook my head yes. Christan smiled and knew he had done the correct thing for me.
Later we went back to the watering hole after a cold shower, but it was refreshing in that heat. I put makeup on and tried to look nice we talked to a couple more friends, then took Grandma into town. Then began our trip back to Jaco.
It took us some time, we just enjoyed the ride and looked at everything. The mountain is high its awesome! then we stopped at this little place overlooking a cool garden.
We had chicarones, there not like you know there like barbecued and very good. We drank another mechalada and headed to the river.
You drive along the Tulene River for miles it is very pretty.
We came back To Jaco but I was not ready to go back to the little Apartment so we got a soda, and drove to the turtle reserve and sat on this rustic platform and watched the Sunset. It was so nice and so peace full. We both agreed it was a great weekend.
Came back to find Clint at the house returned from his weekend. We all talked and had a nice night.
Today began late, No worries, I have no projects at the moment kinda nice but we need work! Clint is feeling bad does not want to leave this week but he has too.
I hope it is a good week coming up
















He told me in Spanish,( he speaks very little English) to gather my things and he would be at my house in an hour. As soon as I got ready, Ed my friend from the furniture store around the corner showed up and sat and talked to me for a few minutes he could see I felt very depressed.
















I left saying see ya later he stood surprised that I was closing half a day, But needed to go and Christian was going to be at my house in no time.
















I went and got my thing but not the correct things, because I could not understand all that he said, and so I didn't bring tennis shoes, or light clothing. We dropped off his truck, picked up one of this friends, he needed a ride his family lives way up on the mountain where we were going.








It was a pleasant ride although I was very quiet and inward. Christian tried to cheer me by putting on the BG'S I laughed, thinking how in the heck does he know this music... he had all sorts of oldies. Which I am not into but I listened and sang along with him some how the english language is easy for him in song.
















We waited for almost an hour for his friend then finally he showed up walking down the road. I guess the electricty went ou and he couldn't do his hair??? Whatever its hotter than heck here! I don't know but I found tha funny.
















We went south towards Esterillos, then turned at the MATAPLATANO road, and went past that. This is a rual road no pavement, on gravel, and dirt. It is not that bad in most of it but in some parts horrible. The dust is bad because of lack of rain so it was like bajaing through country roads and partial jungle here and there.








We went over many little bridges over low rivers at this time they are low. We drove past some very beautiful scenery, and music was playing loud in the car with the air conditioning on full blast. We sang and he tried his hardest to make me happy. It was working! Although still not talking much I continued to drive up this mountain around sharp curves and down valleys. Crests of mountians were spectacular








Saturday, March 03, 2007

Blazing hot March

Well its getting hotter and hotter and Clint for the first time in his life has said he is miserable with the heat! that makes me laugh because he Love's the heat and the sun but this is too much he Say's! it is hot, March is very hot here and dusty, but because the world is ever changing the weather here is changing too. We had rain for the first time in March the other night at of all things the grand opening of The Tortorrici Gallery. We did the gardens with the paths and lights and statues that he creates out of metal. Soon I will have photos on here for you see. It is really spectacular! No lie its awesome! but of all nights for it to rain no one could go out to see it, then a hour into the party, when it was just gaining momentum, while Clint, Christian, I and another gal served Champagne to about 200 people the dang lights starting going off and on. This is a normal occurrence here in Costa Rica. But this was wild. No one could see the art no air con so it was stinking hot, the rain was pouring so what happened? the lights went out only on that side of the street. Bill the artist asked everyone to exit the building it was a bit cooler out and the rain subsided for a while. So I continued to serve, while Christian lit the candles, Clint talked to people and the party went on. Although no one could see a thing the people stayed for more than two hours.

I had prepared a beautiful display of cheeses and fruits abound in he center of the gallery, but it was so hot that the cheese all melted in a cluster after a hour or so. People still ate and wandered about in the candle light. Actually it was kinda fun and romantic, but still disappointing that so many people were there and could not see Bill's genius art or the fabulous exhibition garden we worked so hard on... But they will come back and in time people will know who we are.

This week was filled with hard work, physical work to finish the garden for the opening. Christian and I are getting to know each other better, and it is a nice situation. Although he is young he has an old soul. He was a great help that night, and Clint and him get along very well, he loves to tease Clint, and aggravate him which makes me laugh. Someone to torment him like he use to torment others!
I am meeting some really cool people lately, finding that my friendship's here are good. I am happy, and feel like for the first time in my life at peace with things. I miss the kids, but this is very healthy for me, and I have worked so hard all my life, still am, but at least I get some joy out of doing fun things here and traveling a little.

I still have Issues with MACAW, they are very difficult people, four men are the owners, and they are trying desperately to weasel out of paying us what they owe for the hard work we have done on these condos. SCANDALOUS I say.. But I know I am going to conquer this. I believe in my heart that when you work and someone hires you to do a job, you try your best to satisfy them... I seriously have tried my absolute best... yet the administrator is finding new faults constantly. Generally in the past when someone does not want to pay its because they have either spent the money or over spent, or didn't have the money. I have really good photos of this place so I will display this and let others make the judgement of the work and see if we are worthy to be paid?
Say a prayer that this gets resolved...

Today is Saturday, I am alone in the office. It is kinda cloudy not cold but very warm and muggy. I have a couple in and out. Our location is good that we get lots of people wandering just looking. I hope that in a years time we are doing so well that I can actually not worry about things.

Clint went to Manuel Antonio with someone he met recently for the weekend. First time in ages that I will be alone.. but I just got a call from a friend asking me to go to Puriscal to a beautiful National Park, so I think I am going to go... It will be a good relaxing time, and a time of peace. I think were going to spend the night. Be looking for the photos.

I have found this beautiful Wood, it actually grows were I am going its purple, really purple. Now I have access to this to sell it. It's costly but nothing like in the states. It is a rare wood, but I have a Friend who lives there and his family grows it. It is called Nazareno, if anyone is interested please email me and I can send you information photos and prices of the wood. It is used for fine furnishing, or in the states I have seen in a friend of my Linda and Herb's house in the floor as a decorative accent. But here its not as expensive so they use it for cabinets, or furniture. It truly is purple. I would love to have it in my home when I build.

I am sitting here playing all sorts of music from lime wire and its so fun people walk by and think this is bar the music if you know me is loud! I wonder sometimes how I can be my age and be so young inside? I love music and love it loud... love to dance and be free.. I really like lots of different types too so it makes it really interesting! I have a good list now.. Have a good weekend! Pura Vida

Sunday, February 25, 2007

Sumerizing Febuary































































































































































































Going to the yatch

Real Gecko that was over10 inches long

Eddy singing at Tabacone

Nice week, working in the gallery garden has been rewarding. Hot but rewarding, I have had several Nico's working all week long doing a great job of putting the whole look of the garden together. Tomorrow We will start the mosaic Walkway. It is not a normal walkway, I want it with metal and tile like Tortorici's style of paintings. He uses lots of different metals in his art and its really cool. So the guys are working with me tomorrow in the design.
I finally finished Macaw. It is looking really awesome! and now this month I have a new add coming out in one of the local mags, I will be writing for it to from this day on.
The weeks was a total labor week, hard labor but good. I got sick towards the end of the week with some sort of laryngitis, couch, aches,, and swelling in my face. But a trip to the pharmacy, manage to get it in check. Here you go to the pharmacy and describe your symptoms, and they give you something right over the counter. So easy and works so far every time for me.
Thursday night I got a call pretty late from Eduardo, he said he manage to get us a champagne Cruz on the bay in Herradurra. All three of us, Clint Ed and I.So early Friday we closed up and went about 3:45 to the marina, boarded into this beautiful yatch. There lots and lots of Yatchs, more than I think I have ever seen in my whole life. That Marina at Los Suenos is huge and very well done.
We were all introduced, there were quite a few people who boarded. They had cevieche, guacamole, chips and anything you wanted to drink.

As we sailed in the early evening on the sea, it was calm and the warm breezes were gently getting cooled by the water as we progressed farther out to into the bay.
The whole trip was great, as soon as we got further out they broke out the real food, It was completely catered. Prime rib on sticks, shrimp with mango, chicken, veggies with blue cheese. Pineapple and cheese. It was really good, and fun. I enjoyed the whole trip, I spent most of my time being quiet and enjoying it I was not very social. I had a serious moment, where earlier in the week I had a vision of my life. I had asked God to help with my life and change it, I saw in the vision a ship on the sea, and how it was sailing very smoothly. THIS IS REAL I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP!! I saw the purple sail, and saw how the wind filled all the sails, and the whole ship was running smoothly with out effort, no engine but only wind. As I entered the ship, for real I knew that the reality of my vision was about to be come more clear to0 me. So I spent my time pondering and listening to my heart. I had a couple of glasses of Balatore, and ate a bit but not much.
I watched all the other guests and just observed. I entered into a few conversations, but for the most part I was Tranquillo.
Then I understood the vision. I watched the boat as it sailed farther out to sea, I watched the crew they all worked together to manage the ship, and ran when the wind began, I saw that as opportunity, they seized the moment of opportunity, filling the sails with the most wind that they could. I counted this as seeing when an opportunity arises, to not hesitate but use it to it's fullest.
Then I watched them tie off the ropes and work together in pulling the sails to the right positions. My life needs to be as ship, sailing smoothly using the wind to guide me, a team of people working together, my business a good team who all work together to seize the moment and use what is available to the fullest. With a good team things run smoothly. One shipmate that is not on the same page can cause the ship to falter.
The analogy is similar and I know that this is what I want in my life... I want smooth sailing, that only comes with knowledge and instruction, and wisdom.
It was a great trip, and I encourage those of you who come to visit to take this sunset cruze its awesome! and inspiring.
There is much more that I got out of this trip, more than the vision. I realized how lucky I was and how blessed I was to be able to enjoy such a thing and have it at the tip of my fingers anytime I want it.
I found a new house its huge, with two other little houses on the same property.. but it is alot to rent, and I have to give it some thought at so weather I can handle renting the other's out and making a profit on it. I just know I need to move. I can not take the apt any longer. Dirty dust constant, the noise level, and now construction right next door. The partyers across the street all night... No rest, the other thing is though that this sits on the Costa Nera and It has alot of traffic noise. MAYBE NOT? I just want a nice place WAAAAAAAAAA
I went out on Friday in San Jose with Joseph Beer, the head sales person of Costa Montana, a project I been tyring to be involved with. He had invited me out, so we went and had sushi at bennihana's. We had nice coversation, getting to know each other more. I hope our business relationship works well.
Now there selling Costa Esterillos, a great project! I want a place there!!!!
Clint went with but he went out to the clubs, I stayed in the hotel and rested, I have not felt well.
When I returned yesterday I found that the air conditioning line in the office broke ruining the ceiling, and the plasma that is hanging there under the pipes. So that is on the agenda tomorrow to get it repaired.
life... a series of challanges constantly!!






































Monday, February 19, 2007

We ended up going to Steve and Lisa's on the water near Tarcoles, we ater an early dinner. I had the the entire fish again, I guess lately I am stuck on sea food on Sunday, I just love it! Clint had a Hamburgesa, they really do not make good hamburgers here, but Steve and lisas are the best.

We drove back watered Marla's garden, then went to the house. I rested awhile and then Ken and Marcia came by for us to go somewhere.

We went to the jungle bar to play pool its a nice place upstairs large place very nice setting now, before it was ugly and tacky, but now they have it all decorated really cool with lots of Costa Rican Accents, and very cool furniture that is rustic to the country. Its not dark and seedy its a lively place with huge screen TVs and lots of pool tables, on one side the other has dancing. I do not play pool but I enjoyed watching Marcia kick Kens butt.

Then Christian Showed up, he really knows how to play good. So I watched him then kick Marcia and Kens butt. It was fun we stayed about two or so hours then went back to the house to talk.

Clint was in bed sleeping tired from all the gardening he has been doing with the Nicos.
Christian and I had a real intense conversation about the relationship. I really have no idea what this is so I will remain as much as I can controlled and not to emotionally involved. I really do not know how to play the love game at all..
Frankly do not want to play I just want to be who I am and not put on pretenses.

Enough of that boring stuff.

Last night I talked to my son only for a short time. He sounded tired. I hope he is really ok? I have not heard from the other one at all.
So Jordan if you read this send me your new phone so I can call you. I have sent emails but I get no response.

I do not have anything special going on this week just the finishing of the gallery Garden.

I want to get my car repaired and I am thinking about selling it. I want to buy a pick up Truck. I need one for hauling furniture, plants and just things for the job. I want a Ford but I know there really expensive here. So My plan is fix this one sell it use the cash and try to pay outright for something with more power and more useful.

It is nice today, the sun is shinning and the wind is blowing so it feels actually good. I heard Toucans early this morning and yesterday while we were eating right next to the sea many many Red macaws were flying about and doing their mating ritual.

It was so interesting and fun to watch. The Sky's today are crystal clear and blue not a cloud in the sky. All the trees are beginning to flower, bright orange, red, hot pink, pale pink, Yellow every color imaginable. The Bougainvilleas are so intense that they shock your eyes. I just wonder if the angle of the sun here has something to do with the intensity of the color of the plants?

It is really amazing how they glow in the sun. I am not the only one that has said this other people notice too.
It is hard to believe that in Vancouver or Portland that it is cold and raining, being that it is so hot and beautiful her... but in reality I know. I use to get so depressed in that weather there.

Oh I have something new going on, I am now doing a special segment in a local mag called the Jaco Guide. I will be doing resturaunt reviews, and inspirations for people who come. Giving my ideas about where to go things to see, how to use the products here and the plant materials, just living in general. Good food, good music, places to dance, shops to frequent, gardens and sites, and sports available here. It comes out once a month and I have two pages every month.
I think this will be fun! making me think about where I am going next, and what place I want to feature.
Who knows what will come from that??

Sunday, February 18, 2007

Garden and the weekend

The garden is coming along so nicely, The one were doing for the gallery. It is large and a bit of a challenge, but I know when were done its going to be pretty. We have lights in stalled, the water lines and spots. Places for the metal sculptures with plug's the majority of the outline and bones of the garden. Now its just a matter of moving the rest of the soil out of the drive way , install the Mosaic, walk way. It will have bits and pieces of brightly colored tile with metal interspersed like the artists Walkway.. I had a dream about this and Its all in place so as soon as we get going on it I will photo it.
The guys working are all Nicos, little tiny men dark skin and hair.. they work more than Any one I have had work. They are really good workers in other words.. I paid them they were happy and Monday I hope they show up again???

Now last night I made dinner for the first time in ages, It was Clint and I and my new friend Christian. We had madrin chicken, with wine n butter fresh mandrin orange juices. Christian brought me a bag so I used the lemons and Mardins for the sauce. With Puree potatoes, and a veggie pasta, salad. It was good. We drank a bottle of wine and relaxed, Clint went out to Monkey bar Christian and I stayed at the house but he got a call late around midnight and the rest of the story is a quandary..
I am just enjoying life and myself , This friendship God only knows as I always say. He is at this point direct, sweet when he wants, And very diffferent than American men. I am enjoing for now.
Today, Clint slept really late, I was up at 6:45 just puttered about, then when he arose we went to The Job site to turn on water but the water was off. no water at all we looked around then came to the office to Internet and then, I have no clue what were up to today. But just a minute ago Ken and Marcia Came by and want me to run around tonight with them, go out do something I guess? So I am... I feel happy. I miss my boys, Clint is happy too the people in his house have decided to stay so he can return to the adventure he is having here in Costa Rica.. Maybe Sunset tonight at Villa Colletta's