Again nothing new this week, I have been calling and out there to develop new work, but nothing coming through. I really hope this is not a disaster here.

I been saying good things trying my best to be positive! that Macaw will pay. But no results. I physically talked to them all of them and I was but only to be lied to and promised to pay, to have the administrator promise on Thursday to deposit, and that was the day he had planned I am sure for months to fly to Rome for Easter Vacation.

Yes he flew away to Rome knowing all the time he was leaving and only pacified us with this false promise.
With no regard to live up to his words.

I want Revenge, but I know better. Never in my life have I taken revenge on anyone that has done me wrong. If ever there was a time this is it, but I can't I have too much knowledge of Gods word, and that knowledge will not allow me to lower myself to the level of deceit that has put upon me. It is highly possible that nothing good will come of this project, I am more than sure I am not the only one who is having a hard time with these people in getting some sort of payment. Its allot of money I mean allot, with out it the possibility of me faltering is knocking at my door. No house, no office, no food even?

Some how in my life I seem to manage no matter the destruction, the hardships, the pain or the ill will that is put on me. But I swear this time I am really struggling with this. I came to Costa Rica to have a better life, to live simple in which I do, I really do not have many material things, with the exception of my office.

I don't spend loads of money, I don't have it.. To live with less struggle is my aim. I am facing a fear, I know that everyone has fear and I am pretty fearless and live as much as I can by faith. By which I know the average person may have no clue how to live . Its not easy, and it is worrisome, but I have only lived like this so I have to I suppose? The fear has been effecting me greatly, my health and my spirit. I went from Happy in Feb but was struggling before that, to very depressed in March.

I am grateful that At least I have my friend Clint with me other wise who knows what I may be doing? At least he listens to my cries, my hurts, and my sorrows and tries his best to be consoling. He is a true friend also.
I think honestly life deals what it will and it is all about how your accept it and deal with it and move on. I shake it off everyday,yet in the night when it is time to go to bed, I am alone in the world. The troubles sometimes overcome me, but I still get up early try to face the day with hope and faith, and with a little bit of joy....

This weekend I have a visitor, its Marco's from Cabana's siempre verde. He is Christians friend, we plan on just visiting and maybe include Christian if he likes.
He has been very distant, I can understand I have not had good news in days sometimes friends just hate to be around others that are not doing well. I realize this is not fun for him. I was right about the short term freindship, but maybe with Marcos we can talk and I can understand more about his distance. Please check out Marcos sight its cool... www.cabanasiempreverde.com