My days are pretty simple, I am sure there are people out there who read this and think how stupid! or boring. But My old life was one of an Event Designer, Floral designer, Landscape Designer, and interior. I worked many hours for lots of years some 15 hours most times per day, stressed about how I was paying for things, how I would accomplish this or that. Dealing with sometimes insatiable clients. Making my life complicated, and difficult. Many years of this.
Now It's the extreme opposite, at times I do miss that complication, silly or crazy at it may sound, I find myself reminising about old times. Yes it is sometimes boring, but very peaceful.
I am in a very deep mood today, Reason is, I practiced all day yesterday dancing to written coreography practing seriously. Trying to refine moves, working on correct postions to music that is strange to me. Arabic, but really interesting once you get into it. Its intricate, and stiring.
Ok so the sun finally came out again around 5:00 I packed all my things, walked to the beach, its about a 45 minute walk from here. The wind was blowing making the walk a bit more difficult than usual. I was trying to be in positive thought, not allowing my mind to wander about anything that is not. Actually I was imagining that I had a purse full of money!
I got to the Alegrea. Not very many people. I asked Simon to permit me to listen to some of his CDS of Indian and or persian music.
He hooked up the Computer outside with small headphones, and I sat, with sun glasses on and practiced in my mind with the music.
I waited some two or three hours. Finally people showed up. It was a little chilly so not many people.
I changed, into a pretty hot pink bangled laden, top and my skirts with the coin belts for dancing. Lots of silver jewerly on my arms and a belly necklace.
I waited more, Simon said not many people.
He doesn't do introductions for me so the people are not sure what the hell I am doing. I asked him to make an announcement that you have a dancer to get peoples attention but he drinks the whole time he is DJing and most things like this are un-important.
Finally after two hours of standing in my costume, I said please just put the music on and let me dance.
He did but right away not giving me time to stand or enter really wrong!
I didn't let it effect my dance, I began it was 7 minutes long, I was able to get some attention of a few people. In the end lots of people clapped. I continue to dance amongst the crowd, but no tips last night not one penny. I smiled and kept smiling but thinking GOD I NEED MONEY!! I had a guy offer a drink, honestly I didn't want it but I said thank you kindly. I drank a beer.. didn't want it but I didn't want to be rude. Perhaps he returns the next time and gets a clue that its for tips!
I stayed till about 10:30, Simon put on some music right before I left that was totally latin, Costa Rican. I felt good.. I danced merenge, salsa alone no one wanted to dance with me. I had changed my clothes and my pants and a sweat jacket. Then I walked home, in the dark. I walked along the beach last night carrying my belongings, thinking ok at first disapointed no tips! then thinking ok wow your in Spain, and your walking along a very peaceful area of a beach with no waves and how pretty the lights are at night. I took a short cut through a small field and it was filled with mud.
Got my feet all mudy, I couldn't see it was dark. Simple as this sounds I washed my feet in a puddle. Walked the rest of the way home, trying to hum, and not be discouraged. Although I really was.
When I got home, checked mail, nothing... looked to eat something but not much here. Ate a little cheese and some of those olives, a couple of waffers.
I laid in bed thinking now what!!! slept pretty well, but I do dream extreme here? I don't understand why. I have had seriously some very vivid dreams living here. Most are in detail.
When I woke up, I felt bored, I have alergies bad now.. I made my coffee went outside to see Ivan playing on a mound of sand that sits in the far center of the garden.
I watched him play, he yelled at me! As if to say GOOD MORNING MARIANNA! I love this little one, he is honry, and sometimes Mean but I love him. He really gets excited when he sees me. We have a nice little freindship this baby and I.
I watched him drinking my coffee, the sun is out the wind is blowing its nice. I helped Kathy put the clothes on the clothes line so they would dry before noon. In watching Ivan play so simply I thought about a bible scripture, that my mother use to qoute, and really came to a reality of my own about children.
If only we could be as simple as they are, not much concerns them, except food, drink, play and sleep. The love and afection of there parents, and others... how simply he was satisfied with playing in a mound of sand. Why can't we be more simple? why can't we be satisfied with just simple things? Remember this is coming from someone who's life couldn't be more complicated before. Rasing children pretty much alone, running a business, a house hold.. and more.. I actually began to cry a little watching him. Thinking wouldn't it wonderful to just be happy for nothing!!! sometimes I am.
