Well another Mothers day is coming, Last year was a bit of a disapointment for me, a real Eye opener as to where I was going soon. Which was here To Costa Rica, Not that my Children don't love me but I know that now that here grown and have there own lives, my part in there lives is not as important as it use to be. I needed my own life, one that may be filled with some adventure, while I still can enjoy, possibly make something for their future here In Costa Rica.
I really wanted to be a good Mom, no excuses at all here. I tried like hell to do the best I could with my boys, I believe that even thought I was not the best Mom, they turned out ok.
Jordan needs more guidance, his life with his Woman is not what I feel is the best. In fact I think its obserd that he is twenty two years old, with a child and has only had this one experience with this woman. LIFE how do you predict what is going to happen? you can't... but we do make Choices and our choices is what makes our life what it is.
Brandon, on the other hand has done well, I think he has made the best of what I tried to teach him alone for most of his life. I believe he will do well , and have a successfull life and happy family.
Being a Mom, is not an easy job, not even with a Husband. But to raise children alone is a challange. I am thankfull that my boys never got into any real trouble, yeah they did things that were crazy, sometimes making me want to kill them! but all in all they did not turn out to be unsocial, or criminals, or any sort of bad persons. Many times I spanked them, many times I punished them and still they turned out ok.
Sorry but I believe in Spanking, Call me old fashion, but I see what is happening with kids now days no disipline no nothing. They rule the households, and well I can see the how things have changed when it comes to respect from young adults to small children.
I probably won't hear from my boys, I have not heard from them in a long time now. I was missing Brandon last week, I emailed him but no return mail. Mother's day here is not celebrated till Aug, So no one recognizes it here This Sunday.
I use to do huge spreads for Hotels on Mothers day, beautiful displays of flowers and buffet set ups. Table arrangements that were stunning... I was thinking about all that last night and how simple my life is compared to what it use to be in the USA. But yet No Mothers day here...
Mothering, is and can be a rewarding job, like when they are small and bring you the cutest liittle bug and say its for you, or a card that they hand made with their tiny little hands.
Oh in the middle of night when they are scared and want to climb into your bed just to feel secure, that in itself when I look back was such a endearing thing to experience. Mothering can be a tiring job too, especially if your a working Mom, a single Mom, or an overly busy Mom.
I was all of those. Although I said earlier our lives are sometimes our choices, Also in life it is unpredictable and even though we would like it to be different, we have no choice but to make the best of what has been dealt to us. For me being a Single Mom was not by Choice. It was a situation that was dealt to me, and frankly raising them by myself was tough. BUT I WOULD RATHER RAISE THEM ALONE than have them in the enviroment that their biological person, would have put ALL of us in. ( Refused to call him father, since he never did it any way)
Many times I cried, wondering if I would ever see these boys grow older, I didn't think they would make it! But they did, and now they are raising there own.
Mothering is a relentless job too, never ending, not even at my age. you are always a Mom.
I think if you were to pay me for the job I did, I would probably be a millionare! No not that I am worth that much but the amount of things and hours you spend trying to do all the things that need to be done to nurture, and tend and mend and care for, is endless.
I loved my Mother, she was an incredible woman, INCREDIBLE, very knowledgeable, Christian lady. Italian decent, funny moody, pretty, and sassy. Talented in every way. I thank god I took after her in some respects. She was a much better mother than I, but then she didn't have to work outside the home to give life to the children, plus she had my dad who was a stable force to the family. I had a great Childhood, I feel guilt sometimes with my children. That I could not provide more, or do more or be more for them. But I am thankfull To God that they did turn out good. Provding for Your children single handedly, is no easy. task I had no help financially or physically for many many years. BUT I manage to do ok, we did with out many times but it never hurt us in the long run. I can see my short comings as a mom, so maybe with as a grandma I can make it up???
Happy Mothers day to all my friends and readers, I appreciate your reading, your letters and your thoughts. I have much to tell you about my adventures here in Costa Rica, and especially this week with Rocky and his co hort Jerry. WOW what a story... Yesterday was filled with them, again and another Diego. Richard Spinelli, Tomorrrow I will tell what happend, for Now Its about Moms.
If My Mom was alive, I would be talking to her right now, telling her how much I love her and appreciate all the wonderfull things she did for me as a child and adult, and how her love covered many things.
HAPPY MOTHERS DAY!
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