Monday, May 15, 2006

May 15th Monday

I went to bed early around 7:45, I did hear the phone ring once and when I rose to answer it, it stopped of course! doesn't that always happen? then they or whome ever it was who called never called back. I laid in bed wondering who it could have been? I was missing Milo.

I heard from Milo on Friday Morning Early saying he had meetings all day and that he could not chat, if he had an opportunity he would. I have not heard from him since.

At this point I am very worried. Its not like him to not message me or let me know what he was doing or at least send a cute note. Its been four days now. He does not answer the phone at his house. This is the first time I have ever called him in almost a year. That is how worried I am. I tried Intel, left a message at his desk. But No word. Please if anyone knows Stephen Milo Chavez in Alburqurque New Mexico, or his daughters Bri, Monica, have them contact me and tell me what has happened? I did not hear from my children yesterday either. I thought I was going to hear from Brandon, but right at the time they said they were to call someone called me and was asking questions about a job. So they never called back.

It was nice yesterday, it was hot but not as bad.. I got up made breakfast, watered the plants outside, rinsed the car off, mopped and then got ready to go the beach.

I had told a couple of people I wanted to go to Esterillos to the beach, so one of my new friends called and decided to go along with me.
Esterillos is where Milo and I wanted to build a house. I went the drive was very nice, beautiful in fact. When I got to the beach, which by the way the majority of the drive is on the beach, the tide was kinda high. I still parked got out and set my towel down for the first time since my accident and all my hospital situations. It felt good to lay in the sun, although in my mind all I could do was think about Milo, my childen and where was everyone?

When I looked out to the sea, I remember a situation that happened to Milo right there in that very spot. It was the day after I told him I was seeing Doug. You see when I had my accident, I knew Doug, I called him to help me out of this terrible hospital In Punteranas, he paid my bill and rapidly drove me two hours away to Cima, addmitted me and it went from there.

Although Doug never visited me in the hospital, I knew that I was now going to be obligated to him. After I came home, he continued in seeing me and making sure I had food I was terribly broken. Not only in my body but my spirit. I loved Milo, but I was now involved with Doug. Doug living here, Milo Living In the USA, I had to tell both that this was happening. I did.
Ok Now I had to explain to Milo just what was going on.

It was now the first of March, I still had a Cast and a serious Infection in the leg. I saw Milo for the first time since Novemeber. We met down town, I had him drive me back to the Apartment, We sat on the balcony in the dark with candles. I opened with his help a bottle of wine. We drank wine and I began to tell him what was going on.
We both cried, he stayed the night nothing happened we just held each other in the bed.
The next morning Milo cleaned my apartment, and talked about his past. The things he did as a young man, and how he wished I would be the one he would he could live the rest of his life with.
We laid on my bed talked and both Cried allot I mean it was heart wrenching. But I had to ask him to leave. I knew that Douglas was going to show up at any time.

That Day Milo went to Parrita, then to Esterillos. He went with two of his friends from intel. I went to Manuel Antonio with Doug and his son Shawn. The whole way I was sick in side. I did not let Doug know at all how I was feeling. I was thinking and pondering about Milo and us.

In this day something happened, Milo went in the Sea, he was body surfing and a current picked him up and took him so far out that he could not get back. He felt him self loosing control, the sea was taking over. He could not get back to shore he was extremely frightened, worried and now panicing. He prayed asked god to help, told the lord that if is is meant for me to be dead in this way with out Marianna, then so be it. At that moment or shortly there after, a woman on a surf board appeared. She had seen him drifting and told him to get on the board. His body weak from the struggle, he could hardly do it. She insisted for him to get on. He tried and couldn't.
Then he tugged and pulled and he finally got him onto the board. All the way back he said he almost cried thinking that his life was about to end, and how in a moment things change.

Later when driving down the Costa Nera back to Jaco, he saw a dead monkey on the side of the road. The mate in the tree, staring down at the lifeless body laying in the roadway. Milo stopped,
Got out of the car, looked up at the poor mourning creature. As the Monkey looked onto the death of this loveone, his mate. Milo began to cry. Seeing how it was to be with out the one you were meant to be with, How helpless this animal became and did not know what to do but to just hope and pray that it came up the tree and sat once again with he or she. He told me he removed the animal to the side of the road, talk to the monkey and told him he know's how he feels, and that he was so sorry for him or her.

When I heard this story, I cried, I realized how much Milo meant to me, That his tender heart was damaged by my actions with Doug. I knew right then that I had to stop with Doug and try some how to remain with Milo.
Later it all worked out, and Milo and I became mates again.

So While I was laying on the beach , worring about Milo, I saw in my minds eye the whole story. I stared out to sea, thinking about Milo, how he could have been taken from me right then and how God had spared his life for more time together. We have had wonderfull times. I pray right now that he is ok.
When I woke I was choked, tears welled up in my eyes. I called his house, mind you the first time ever I called him. No answer, I called Intel no answer... Now I have no other means to communicate with him but thought this. He is always on line, Hell he works for intel!! But no hes not.

I feel helpless like the monkey, I don't know what to do. I have no way to find him or to let him know Im here for him. I pray god spares him if he is in a desparate way, or a situation that is life treatening again. I can feel my spirit frightened by the thought of lossing him. I never dreamed, I would be saying something like this on line.

I am staring down at you, wake up, climb back on the limb, one can only think something horrible has happened when you don't hear from someone this lenght of time.

Later today I will continue to talk about Rocky and his story, but I pray before then I hear something on the where abouts Of Milo Chavez.

No comments: