Brandons Birthday

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BRANDITTO

TE QUERO MUCHO BRANDITTO!! I woke up thinking about you this morning, wishing I was with you today. Today Brandon is 29 see I remembered. Only because you reminded me a million times. I hope that your have a wonderful day, I do wish I was there to be with you and Jordan and all the rest. I pray blessing on you, you were my first son, so cute when you were little, everyone would stop and say how sweet you were. They would give you money, and tell me good things about you. I remember how Richard would tell you to tell everyone, when you were age 3, I am SMART AND GOOD LOOKING! and you would tell people that when they walked up to you as a child.

Birthdays are very important, and I am sorry I missed this one. But next I promise we will be together. Here in Costa Rica your name is popular, lots of children are named that, only they say Branditto.. I love it! I saw a Branditto today. He was 3,

Today was a quiet day in the morning, the clouds were dark today early. I washed and put the clothes on the line, and swept the floors, and cleaned up before 7:00, Got on line to see if I had any mail and I didn't. I sent a card to Brandon, and I tried to send another one but it would not go through.

The house next door was quiet, but not last night. The Tres Amigos Ticos, were loud and drunk and routy. They kept me awake for a long time till 3 am. I got up at 6:30 so Right now I need to siesta, but I can't. I have a heavy heart. Those guys distroyed that house, and I am so tired I do not feel like cleaning it up right now nor do I have any more laundry soap to do the sheets and the towels. So in the Morning I guess aftere work out, I will clean.
Then I am thinking of renting a car and going around on my own. I am so bored of Jaco.
Tomorrow night this builder is coming in to take me to Domincal on Tuesday to see this development that I was interested in. These supposeably are really nice with infinately pools. They over look the ocean on hills. Looking down on the town.

So I am looking forward to this drive and the sights, I will be sure to take lots of photos, besides Hap and Clint may have one buiilt if I like it and it seems right. Then we can be neighbors!

I sat on the porch with my computer and ate sandia, Watermelon, and coffee and just read mail and emailed people. The guys went early to surf but came back because of the rain. I had to rush and take all the ropas off the line, what a pain in the butt. This house has no hot water, nor do you flush the tollet paper down the tollet. There is a basket by the tollet and you put all your paper in there. The water in the shower has a little heating element, and you turn it to hot and get very little hot water. Today was chilly I used the hot water first time, although last night was notAfter I dinner last night I got dressed and walked a block down the blvd, to the Monkey bar, its all open no windows no walls no doors just bamboo posts. TONS OF TOURISTS, and lots of Ticos y Ticas. Its something to watch, they love to dance men and women dance whether they have a partner or not. The music there is Regaeton. After I sat for like a hour, and listen to Americans, try to talk to me in Spanish thinking I was a Tica, I just acted like Iwas stuck up. I really didn't understand them to be honest. Inside I was laughing, I didn't try to respond as I was watching the crowd grow bigger and bigger untill the street was filled with people and the Taxis were on the other side of the narrow road.

There is a lagoon right next to it. So its very tropical looking. The music got louder, I couldn't stand it I had to get up and dance. But for a long time I sat there thinking, I must be nuts! Im down here alone, only knowing a few people.. I have suffered the alone syndrome for a long time, and honestly I don't understand it. I think I am a social person, and I think that some people like me? But why does it always boil down to alone? I just don't get it? I know this time I chose to go off and do this, and I realize the feelings of lonelyness, As I have had those feelings more and more as I get older. I Just wonder why it is I meet men they like me, then they act like there not interested in me at all or they tell me I AM NOT YOUR TYPE... well hell I have met every type there is, and most tell me this. So who is my type? I really do not think I have a type, I seem to like all kinds of people in general. I try to find good in most. anyway not getting into this any further.

I danced and danced when all of sudden I looked into the crowd and there were a whole group of Ticas, and Ticos Staring and smiling and just having great time watching me. Soon one by one they came and danced with me. Mind you the room was packed. Later this Carribean man 24 years old came up and began dancing with me, after that he would not allow anyone else to dance. It was like he claimed me?

I didn't get it, but I went along with it for the time I was dancing. He walked me out, we talked I told him I was old I was, he said I was a liar. wanted to see my passport. I didn't have it on me anhyhow. All I had was a few colones in my bra. and my keys. We sat on the tables across the street. and watched the crowd come and go. I think it was about 1 or so in the morning. He was a Canopy tour guide with the zip lines. Very fit from having to climb and hang in the trees. He was very polite, and walked me a block to the house. Got to the gate and said our good byes. Thats when I heard the muhcachos, loud as hell.

Today they left and left everything a mess over there, they threw the surf board on the lawn, they left the bikes all out and rip down the tarp to cover them, The furniture was out on the porch. They were a mess. But I did manage to get photos of them after dinner and when they were drinking here. They wanted to listen to music on the computer. No TVS No air, no raidos.

So this day is pretty borning, with the exception of talking to Jordan, and taking a taxi with Danelia to this very poverty stricken area, that made me feel so bad. We walked through and down this muddy area, along a river with lots of banana's when I saw tin, and carboard proped up and used as a house. it was so sad to see people living in the open basically with hardly a thing. She was going to visit a freind but they were not home. So We walked to Gloriavells pittiful dwelling. I SWEAR I WILL BE GRATEFULL FOR WHATEVER I HAVE FROM NOW ON.
When I laid eyes on this mud hole, with cynder blocks as steps, dropped down into a cement like platform with tin above and one wall made from that thin compressed carboard plywood. They use to make card tables out of this. A hole for the door, no walls basically only one sided, they were cooking things on this stove top burner,not a stove. The husband sitting picking the corn kernels one by one off the cob, no tables no furniture. Only plastic chairs. and a small tv. the kitchen and the living room and all was one room with sheets to divide a space to sleep. They all stared at me hard, I felt so strange. I didn't see any running water or a tollet. It was very shocking and sad for me to see this. Then came Branditto, he was blue eyed, three years old, it was then when I wanted to cry. I thought about my Brandon, today out in his beautiful custom ski boat, with friends and family for his birthday and I was sitting in a poverty situation looking at someone with his name. All I could do was not to cry.

When we left in the cab which cost us a dollar, I asked god to forgive me for being so ungratefull for all the things he has given me, and for the talent that I take for granted, and all the things I take for granted. Truly most of these people are happy unaware that there is more in the world.

I then came home and shut the curtains laid on the bed and cried. I felt so sad and thinking about that little Branditto, and how today was my brandittos day.

Now I am going to go and eat somewhere, try something I have not tried. Then hit the store for soap. Then look around for a rental car place so I can get going on what I had planned but have not yet been able to do.

Riding a beach bike is hard work. You should have seen me last night with all the food for dinner. Two loaves of bread an a mellon sticking out the basket, two big bags hanging on the handles Trying to balance. Then theres the pot holes that bounce you all around. Cautiously I did it!

It is fun thought to ride the bike and watch people.