Rainy day Tuesday

Well yesterday was a bit of a struggle but I made it!

We got the car and took it another location but barely made it there. The man could not do a thing till this morning. So after Cristhian left from walking me to the house I laid on the sofa to contemplate and rest for a moment. Then I got up changed my shoes and walked back down town. I just couldn't stand the thought of sitting there alone thinking about my issues!
Of course

I went right to Rosie's, its about two miles from my house. You walk out of my place about two blocks, the down the road of pops, that is what they call its about ten blocks to the central. Then Down the central over the bridge and past the little mall and there sits Rosies.

It started to rain so I got a little wet but not too bad, but right away I felt sick. Maybe because I already have a bit of infection. I started to feel sick in my throat and coughing was the first sign.
She was busy so I sat watched TV and hung out till we could talk.
I checked my mail, then just visited with the few people that were there which was about three the ones that work there. It rained so hard no people were out.
Late about 11:00 I walked back home fast before it rained again.

Did not sleep good last night, I was hot, and worried and just did not rest well.
I must have gotten up three or four times.

This morning when arising it was dreary, I made coffee and showered, only after watching a little Reggis and Kelly.
We get like four English speaking stations here so I always watch that if I can in the morning.
I didn't eat there was nothing in the house at all to eat.
I called Cristhian to wake him up and ask what time he would be taking the car to the new guy? he told me to meet him at the Soda.
So I got ready and walked to the soda, after my landlord handed me the rent bill and the power bill! oh Joy!
I had one egg , one toast and two slices of tomato, He ate a ton as usual and he is so dang skinny.. how to they do that?
We talked only for a second, Cristhian is very quite these days, I am sure he is worried too. The other issues I am sure are bothering him as well.
We took the car to the mechanic, hes very fussy, he was mad that I didn't bring it him in the first place. He took the pump off and said he would do nothing till I paid to order the new one.
I felt sick to my stomach at this point knowing that its allot of money and everything is due. I am sure some of you out there know how this feels. I am strong but right now I feel so beat down.
I stood in the background thinking, head down wearing white Capri's and a white eyelet top. Standing in the gray the rain started to begin. I felt it on my arms and my face. We then walked with the part to the main roadway.

Cristhian had and idea, that he would get on the bus take the part directly to San Jose and make sure he gets the right one so no more time is lost. He asked for money for the bus and lunch. We took a taxi to the central about 15 blocks to the cash machine and it was not working. So another taxi to the end of the town where the bank is and the bus station.

I gave him the cash and be boarded the bus. I walked away feeling a bit defeated, then walked across the street to a project that I had given a proposal on to see what their answer was. I knocked they let me in and I sat and waited for the manager.

We talked a moment then I asked well what is going on... his reply was NO Marianna No we chose someone else.
Ok I smiled and walked out, With the smile on but as I walked I felt kicked in the stomach.
I was hoping it was yes and answer to some of the things that need to get resolved. AS I WAKLED DOWN THE ROAD I heard the bus behind me... I kept walking not looking at the bus at all I knew that Cristhian was in this bus, I think he saw me walking with my head down.
I kept walking till I came to Century 21 about seven
blocks from there.

I walked in to the Century because they owed me some money I was hoping I could collect.
I talked to Thomas the owner, then I got a message from Cristhian saying in Spanish "tranquillo yo estoy tambien para ayuda" Meaning Calm peace I am here also for your help.

How nice is that? I felt better then Tom told me he deposited the money in my account its not much but it will help pay a portion of my rent. I felt a bit better. When I left the architect for Toms remodel was outside we talked and Tom told him I was joining the company as a personal designer for the company.

Its all good now lets see the cash! I am A funny woman... some can not live with out Men and have a complete breakdown with or with out them. Yes I want one in my life one to share things with and do things with to love would really nice! But I live fine and manage to do ok with out. Although I have horribly lonely moments and want to just curl up and die. I manage! but when I have no money or no work.. I am a wreck! I have to be working, and good cash flow or I feel as though the total end of the world is coming.
Frankly it is.

I went to Rosie's little Store she has two coffee shop's and one little pulperia, I purchased a cigarette and smoked half way... and threw in the road.Standing on the roadway in all white waiting for the next bus to Herradura.
No money for a taxi, pathetic I think! but hell At least I am still trying.

I boarded the bus feeling a little out of place people staring at me, I kinda stand out ok? I sat and just prayed all the way that god would open the doors of opportunity for me and for Cristhian too. We do nice work I believe in my work and my ideas.

Our Client from Esterillos wrote such a nice letter last night telling me how beautiful everything was. I kept those thoughts in my head as I rode to Herradura to my office. My office now is so quiet, not a soul passing by, not a phone call, not a walk in nothing.

I proceeded to check and return mail and now blog Later I have an article due for the Jaco Guide.
I have the the Local Latin MTV on trying to lift my spirits with the music and a good cup of Costa Rica Coffee. Yum the coffee is great, Thank god for my life! no matter how difficult I am great full that I have my health my youth in my age, and I am able to go on.