Many things since the third of Sept

I have done a few things since the 3rd of Sept, so I will explain what has been going on with me as much as can today.

It has been slow, I was working in Esterillos which is south of Jaco about 10 minutes, its a huge beach with a tiny little town, one store three restaurants, a couple of bars one puplpuria, a soda and a hardware store. Going there everyday was expensive and long. But now I am done and well no other jobs lined up at all.
My car broke down the power steering pump went out and the relay switch on the air conditioning all at once. First before this was the electrical on the air condition I had that repaired, I drove the car two blocks parked it and the next morning could not drive it.
A friend of mine from the states offered to fix it but honestly I don't think he knew what he was doing its been sitting at his place now for ten days.

Some how today I have to get it to a mechanic but how I am paying for it is another story... the part is over $ 300 the other part is about $100, I have very little in the bank at the moment so I have no idea how its going to get fixed. I been walking, around town and that's good for my health, but to get to jobs not good... taking taxis is OK but it is getting so expensive. I need my Son Brandon here right now to fix this crap car. I been so worried about how I am doing everything.
I have some projects in the future MAYBE??? but nothing going on and not a dime coming in at all. Lots of expenses, lots of worries.
The worries has taken a little tole on my body too. I came down with a slight kidney infection, so yesterday I consulted with the pharmacy here and they gave me some strong medicine.

So on top of no work, very little money, no car, now an infection. I suffered with it for about five days till I couldn't take it any more. I did a little project for a lady on Friday and made 10 thousand colones, which amounts to about $20 bucks so I went to the pharmacy.

I been consulting for a Colombian friend of mine on his new clothing store but I only made 50 thousand colones for three weeks, that was food money.

So now on to what I have been doing. We landscaped the house in Esterillos it came to $1800 dollars, but most of that was materials, plants, rocks and labor. Not a lot of profit.

I had gone to Puriscal a week ago with Cristhian to a friend of his. The whole weekend was strange, I can not tell you what happened but something concerning his family and it was very uncomfortable being there.
They are very poor, the house has light coming through the wood walls. the roof is peaked but opened at the ends so animals can come in and they live high in the mountains/ jungle. they do not have hot water, and the toilet doesn't work they have to pour water into it to flush it. The water then runs down the mountain side. The kitchen is dirt floors, with a roughly built pit for fire and block around and on top for the cooking area. It is all open too. Chickens running all around and in the house, the beds are very old and run down. There are some windows I think I saw three.
I felt so lucky to have what I do have after being there. I was ashamed that I complain about what I do not have.
I felt so sad in the morning when I woke up, after sleeping on the floor of the living room. His sister offered me some coffee made by hand and some cooked coco palm seeds that you eat like a tiny apple this was all they had.

Cristhian had so graciously taken and old pad and put it on the floor for me with a pillow from a sofa that was old and worn. This was late at night after he found out some information about his family, he and I sat in the rain in the car, the car was surrounded with mud , talking till the wee hours about this situation. It was very heart breaking for him I felt so much compassion for him.

Even though he and are not together, and I know it is impossible for us as he is so much younger than I, the fact that now he is working for me, (and actually doing much better.) I still have feelings, I realized I had more than I thought when this happened? I don't know If he is a repair for not having my sons? or if I love this kid? or if I just have so much compassion for him knowing all the things I know now? or all combined, but I can not deny that I have feelings and I have gone out on a limb to help him.

Some could say it is so wrong, but in my heart, I feel fine about helping him, no guilt nothing in fact I feel so good when I do something for him or his family.
I came home on Sunday that weekend, his family and I all went to the soccer field and watched his team play, he slept to late to make the game so he just watched. We stood on the sidelines there on the mountain side with a view in the distant that was so beautiful. I thought how simple the lives of these people yet on Sunday everyone is together playing soccer and enjoying the company of the families that all come.

When I left in a friends car,I was worried I could hear the brakes making horrible noises and at one point did not have much brakes going down the grades of rock and dirt roads across the high mountains. I was scared, I prayed that god keep me safe and put angels on this car and I manage to drive the curves just fine, I went very slow. It took two hours to get to Jaco,

I hit a skunk the night before so you could smell that horrible smell all the way home. I took the car right to the car wash in Jaco and waited for two hours while they cleaned it. Then I dropped it off and walked home about a mile. I went right to the shower it was hot out so I was really sweaty then laid down and slept. I was exhausted and sad, and worried about him and my life.

The past couple of weeks only working on Esterillos, and dealing with how to get by with out the car. My friend who was going invest in my place here backed out with no reason really all these months of promises then he just backs out? so that has been a worry too.
Jaco has had allot of rain although its has nice hot moments in the day. The evenings have been nice and cool or rainy. Still you wear sleeveless clothes or shorts not cold weather clothes.

Rosie and I have been seeing allot of each other I go and visit and hang out so not to be bored or sad at home alone.
Last week Cristhian, after the news spent three days at my house sleeping in the spare room. He could not go to his apartment and this news made him go out and get his own place instead of living with four guys now. I told him I think this is good for him anyway time to be a little more independent. I cooked every night he was there, he loves my food and it was nice to be doing something with someone.
Actually I was shocked that he stayed with me? but after the second night we talked about things and I knew that it was necessary for him to have some peace in his head about things and my place is quiet and peace full and relaxing.
Perfect for him to hang out.
On Friday when he went back this week he wrote me a note in Spanish, it said on my cell phone:" Lo siento por cualquier cosa, yo quero que todo este bien y si que usted es buena persona y usted da mas, entonces mas le dara Dios" I can translate but I think really what he meant is God bless you for being a good person, the best of people really.. and he was sorry for anything he had said or done earlier in the day, that he knows I am good.

That made me cry, because I feel like sometimes I am not worthy of anything. Although I try to help people, not just him but many... Not much help comes to me, I felt sad all week, and he saw it in my eyes, I didn't tell him I was sick on top of it but I think he knows.

Aside from all this.... I did spend time with Edia my old friend this weekend. I bought some chicken, she bought pork, we invited a couple of people for Independence day on Sat and I cooked for everyone. I made Cuban Pork on the bbq and Coconut ginger chicken, Italian style salad and Armenian Rice pilaf.
Those that showed up liked the food, then Eida suggested I open a restaurant. That was my intention when I first came here a small little place serving Tapas and wine, some beer something cool different and simple. Everyone that eats my food here says the same thing GOD YOU SHOULD open a place but its super hard work.
I would rather do that and have my Son Jordan come and run it and be the person in control and mama over sees. But Eida did offer to make a place in one of her locals for me. It is all talk as far as I am concerned really!

Then Yesterday she invited me to swim in the pool in the morning and have coffee with her. So I got up cleaned the house and walked the ten or more blocks to her house.
We talked, swam, and then I walked to Rosie's, when I was on the street Rodrigo, the partner of my Colombian friend saw me and picked me up and took me to Rosie's. When we got there Rosie called and said Come to belly dancing.
So I went with my bikini and sarong and Rodrigo took me to the class. The rest of the day was great we danced for a hour in class, then she took me to my house to shower and change, then she changed and we took up again and went to this place called OZ a hotel and bar and had a margarita, then we went to Sushi. Rodrigo went with us, we had a nice night. Later back to Rosies place and sat and talked with people, Helen too!
Then I took a taxi and went home to bed. Slept till 7:00 and got up made my arrangements with the travel agent for a ticket I had some months ago to go back to the USA.
I will be going in Nov for Thanksgiving, Although I really do not want to go back I want to see my kids and grandchildren once again.
Then I took a taxi here to the office and now waiting for Cristhian to show up. Its almost noon now.
The rest of the day is making an invoice for two places, trying to get my car to a mechanic, and maybe that is all for the day.