The Pool at Hermosa palms it sits right on the beach

My car I need to sell, asking 15 thousand This is Nazarino beautiful purple wood you can't really tell here but it is truly purple

pineapple fields in puriscal

I haven't really written in a while because I been busy trying to get new work. We actually nailed two, one tiny remake of a re max office, and I am physically doing it, prepping the walls and painting along with Clint and Christian. All of us are working after work until late at night.

I went on Monday with Christian to Puriscal to see and meet this new artisan that produces doors and cabinets. He is passionate about his work and it shows. He does not do production but he does complete his work rather quickly. We had a nice time, took the whole day... merely friends, although I would like it to be different. I do not say a word and just go with the fact that were friends. My mind says different but I do not display how I feel at all. We came back at sunset and watched it go down, then I dropped him off and went to the apartment.

This week was a little crazy, Clint leaves Tomorrow for the USA, he has a new friend that he likes and is a bit sad about leaving, but I assured him that it will be fine when he returns.

I saw a new place this week called Hermosa palms, its a huge project in Hermosa beach and its DE VINE!! wow every time I think I have seen the most prettiest place we find another one. This one may be our project for all the land scape design. One of the investors actually offereed us land to put all the plants into and produce our own nursery. Its not gelled yet, but it is a nice thought and I am going to be positive and see this through. They are building grand houses right on the beach with line palms all the way down. The pool is stunning the club house is really nice. The complex is very different and I would be proud to be the lead designer for this place.

I really hope this is not another golden carrot! Many of those here... We need constant work and real offers. It was so nice to spend the morning there and see the beach that early. Seeing how the rich live though did make and effect on my thinking. I live so simple compare to some of the people who live here. To think that my job is to make there places more beautiful... yet I have so little. Sometimes I feel discouraged, but I lifted my head and said no I am worthy and I have the ability to do this job! I want it and I claim it. So now its a a matter of keeping in touch with those people and making sure they do not forget there offer and get it in writing. HARD HERE PEOPLE Just offer offer and offer but not everything comes through...

I told the investor, I need a home he said do not worry Marianna GOD WILL TAKE CARE OF you, I told him I know that he does take care of me and I would not be here if God had not meant it to be... I believe that firmly. I know my family does not really understand or believe that I realize this. But my health has been so much better, no asthma, no bronchitis no kidney problems and I look better I think? I also know that I have a gift to do this type of work, and it is needed here. It is a matter of getting those to know me and using me and allowing me to be the creative person that god created. I still have good years left, I am young in my spirit and in my heart and my face still looks pretty dang good!!! so why not take and adventure and enjoy what I can while I still can? Being single too adds to this.

I Will be alone now for ten days, and I hope to god I deal with all the issues that are pushed in my face daily and run the store and do the work...

When Clint returns, We will be working on a new landscape project in Hermosa Hills, the Hermosa palms has not hired us yet this is different it is a private individual who liked our work. Then on the week of the 15th I will have a surgery, so I won't be writting for a while unless I can take the lap top to San Jose and use it at my friends house Zaida, who will be taking care of me while I recover. Let see what tomorrow brings, I have to drive to San Jose to take Clint to the airport, to leave for NEW YORK...

The pineapple fields coming from puriscal

A beautiful door by a new artisan in puriscal

some of the incredible sunsets we see

San Jose And Deigo my friend

I took the day and went to San Jose to see what I could find, I also took my friend Diego with me. He had to go the embassy to get his USA passport since he is half north American, and Half Central American he is capable of having both. He needed a ride so we went together. I enjoy his company he is such a nice warm loving person. God bless him much... Nothing more than friends but he is one to treasure. Has a real sense of life and faith. he is always encouraging to me. I try to do the same to him. We laughed and talked and then I dropped him off at the bus station in Down town San Jose. I scary place but it was day light

I shopped around didn't really find a whole lot of what I was looking for, and the traffic now is so bad that it takes you forever to get from one place to another. I bought a small dresser for about $230 American dollars. For my room nothing special.. I got a nice sisal type rug in brown and tan for the living room. Some brown silk pillows with lime green and orange stones on them, and a pretty orange leaf pattered one on a brown background. For my small chair I bought a same pattern but only in lime and brown.
I also bought some tropical silks and huge glass vase. Some art of orchids to put in a collage on one wall. And a few things for my bathroom. It is not easy here like the states to find cool stuff, nothing is convenient to find but I do have sources they just didn't have the things I was looking for.
I had a call from a friend when I was there Eddie, he wanted to meet up with me. We had a small dinner, he was feeling ill, so I took him home and made the ride back to Jaco around 7:40. It takes Two hours over big mountains to get back. It was totally fine till I got past Orotina, then it began to rain and rain hard. I slowed down some because it was very difficult to see, But I made it home just in the nick of time to catch the hardest rain fall. Which drenched me to the bone... I ran in the house, Clint was there with a friend. At least we had power!!! the day before the whole day no power, at night no power till around 3:00 am. Then in the morning the same, No power so cold shower, and got ready for San Jose... I was happy to see the power on. The simple things you learn to enjoy here when Living in Costa Rica!!

I am still working on Feather the nest... Doesn't look exactly they way I would like yet. I need to build head board. I had an idea with bamboo wood, foam and fabric over the foam. Button tuffed so it looks pretty... but I may just have one of my people do it instead of me.. although I know how and I like to do things like that I think it would be much better to have one of my manufactures put it together. I am sure none of them have made anything like this.
Today I am going to take a belly dancing class with a couple of my friends. I need to begin some sort of exercise again. I may be having some surgery here in the beginning of May. For years I have wanted this.. I may take the plunge and do it! the only problem is My recovery is three weeks in San Jose for daily visits to the surgeon. This may present a small problem YA THINK??

Clint will be in New york for a time and the surgery is scheduled for before he returns. More on this another time...

I Just had constaino in here... he is the crazy Colombian, that adores me and We are like the skunk pepe le pew and the cat in the cartoon. I can not handle him at all he makes me so nuts I want to run and I have ran away from him many times. Today in his visit here he was calm, I guess he has figured out that I am not interested but for friends only. He is really a character the real pepe le pew! short but built nice, bald and always wears a base ball cap. He is totally in love with me... constantly saying he loves me... GOD I HATE IT!!! hes not for me let me say... but he is funny and does try at times to be nice to me... tonight perhaps is jungle bar dancing, Merange, cumbia and salsa!!! NEED THE EXERCISE!! and besides these people dance so beautiful! I really don't know now If I can move back to the USA? I love the latin enviroment, this is one of the good things

The new place and blanqueeta

Things are settling a little, it didn't take long for me to get the house in order only one day. I do not have much to work with, but I think I am going to San Jose on Friday to buy a few articles to fill space, tables, lamps, a dresser would be nice... and maybe some art for the walls. The kitchenette is not very pretty, it is Iron and very uncomfortable so maybe some cushions and covers for it. I would like to just buy my own!!! I will see?? I put up a pretty mosquito netting above my bed its brown with beads hanging on the edges. it looks very princess now!!

Yesterday evening when I returned to the new place the owner who lives in a very nice loft above us had installed a new air conditioner, and cables and plugs in my room for TV!!! he is going to install in the ceiling at the end of the room. This man is really cool so far! he is Italian and really knows how things should be! he is meticulous... the cleaning lady comes every day to clean outside and water. Its so nice...

We also have a cat that belongs to the property, her name is Blanqueeta, shes little and white and very sweet, she loves to talk. but you can't hold her she freaks out. She rests peacefully on my door step so far. She wants to come in but I say no.. I have leather couches so I DON'T THINK SO..

We have been really trying to get new jobs but nothing has come through yet. I made rounds again today, but nothing came from it. Monday I new project Called Villa Montana is going to tell us weather or not we got the bid for the landscape and or the interior design packages. I sure hope something breaks here for us soon!!
It has been so dang hot, you just stand not doing a thing and the sweat just pours off your head. Or your back or wherever you sweat the most. Me its the head and the back.. so I felt like I had a water fall today shooting off my forehead. Of course there went the hair and the makeup. GOD SUCH A STRUGGLE TO BE A WOMAN!! Although its hot, I still love it.. better than being cold and miserable you can always cool off but to get warm for me is more difficult.
Maybe this evening I will go for my first swim in the pool, then later I am walking down to Rosie's, its not far from town so walking will do me some good.

Rosie and I get along famously, we laugh and bash men, and talk about the prostitutes, and just girly talk... we drink coffees and caparinas, and discuss pretty much trivial things but its fun! She is a funny lady as well. When I am not there she is so mad, she says I MISS YOU GET DOWN HERE... nice to have someone miss me!!! She now owns a little store and two coffee shops, one in the middle of Galenone and one on the corner near the Monkey bar.

Now we have bagel mans in town, Rosie is a bit worried but I told her its not personal like her place and soon the regs will come back! I have not gone to Bagel mans yet but I heard its good.

Well its almost time to go home, the car is getting the bumper painted today, They told me it will be ready tomorrow, GEZZ I hope they didn't lie and it takes four more weeks like the other one in San Jose???
I have to take a taxi home and its far but its better than a designer riding the bus.. Lol I had to laugh about that I was riding the bus all dressed up, along with the mop girls at the mall here... kind funny a designer on the bus? in big cities yeah but here? kind of CAMPO...( FARMISH) (COUNTRY ) The things I have done here In Costa Rica, I real stretch from my old life!

NEW APARTMENT

Yep I moved to a clean nice place with a really cool garden and a pool and a Jacuzzi.
Only five people live in the complex, its very private and really nice. It reminds me of a little resort spa. I has a waterfall in the pool, with really gorgeous pots of plants, and nice lounge chairs, the floor is all rock big slabs of slate, all the walk ways an surrounding areas are all slate.

It has planters with parakeets, and other haliconias. Bandannas that tower over the driveway,coconut palms and a hedge of hibiscus all red. Its really pretty and clean no dust and no cars, no buses no taxis at three am, no honking it was so peace full and quiet last night!!!

My room is huge and triangle shaped, it has a small iced glass window above the bed where I can hear the water fall over the pool.
It has its own bathroom very classy with a curved counter and shell sink, a bu day, and a clear glass shower. I actually have a living room area now, and huge porch out front that is all secluded and surrounded with plants. Clint's room is small but nice it already has it all decorated up!! he has his own bath room as well. We have laundry which to me a total luxury!!! and a big frig! Its not super classy but I will make it very nice I hope?

I have a nice brown mosquito netting that I will hang above the bed with these Iron coach lamps for big candles hanging on either side. On the right of the bed that is covered with pillows, is a Bombay tray table with wood pineapples, with a tall lamp. I need art work and other things so maybe this week I can voyage to San Jose alone and shop!!
Haven't done that in ages... Should be a fun thing now feathering a new nest.

I never have had expensive things, I always buy them for the clients and wish they were mine, but maybe I can splurge a little and buy the things I need.

Today is pay day for people, I need to pay people I have owed since this whole Macaw issue. Thank god, Now the jobs must keep rolling so I do not face that again.

Also I have to go and deal with ICE the Power and phone company for the country... That should be fun??? NOT!! although now the people who work in the office actually know me now and like me isn't that novel??
For here yes ok? ICE IS A PAIN IN THE ASS.

I have talked to Christian, hes doing ok but were not seeing each other much at all. He does message me and calls once a week now.
Think it just wasn't meant to be, although he refuses to loose my friendship, wrote me a note this morning saying, you are special and a very good person, thank you for being you. I treasured that from him. Why I have no clue just have a crush on this one I think... but he has nothing to do with me. STUPID!! open your eyes young one!!
LOL..
So more on the new place and photos to come.
I wish my sons would come and visit me. I miss them!!

Palms 18 the basis of my strength

It is true I read this morning. The basis of my strength I believe is this. One person wrote me today saying hurray for your tenacity.. true I do have that, but it is the faith I have, that no one really knows about that keeps me going and sometimes just barely hanging in there with it.

It is so hard at times to have that strength and faith, but I will admit if it wasn't for that I may not be alive right now.

Thank God for that answer in the MACAW PROJECT. I learned an awful lot about people once again. And about my business. Here especially tough to be a woman in business.
In the states many times Clint and I would test the theory of me being in command over him, I would say something to a client and get the worst response especially with men, he on the other hand would say the same EXACT WORDS AND GET positive response. We actually tested it many times and it worked. Here now, I have to do the same thing, I have a front man, but in this case I was the force, I kept on this American and I finally won.

It can be difficult as a woman to accomplish the same thing a man can do in seconds we have to push harder. Those of us who understand this comment is... we are competent sometimes more so than men, God made us the strong ones but were perceived as the weak ones the soft and submissive ones in most cases. But some of us are strong if not over bearing more so than men... yet we struggle with things getting accomplished because were women. I know that I have done things as well if not better than some men... not that I am a militant feminist, but I know that in some cases Women especially now days can and do accomplish many things, that once was considered unheard of.

Today is Sat, again cranking the music up in here it is now a ritual in the office. Makes me happy to hear music, I am a dance machine I suppose... will always be untill I die! I plan on doing that tonight.
It has been very slow, no people but I am working on two new proposals one for landscape and one for a killer office that is going in here. I sure hope I get both!!! I want to work towards that house I see in my head... I need a place the apartment is so small and being robbed now twice is not fun..

I helped one of my friend's yesterday, he was having some bad situations similar to mine a few weeks ago.

I felt compelled to help so I lent a hand, weather or not it is ever paid back I have no clue , in fact I don't care... but it sure felt good doing something good for another person.

I gave rides to other friends yesterday as well, I am trying to live up to my convicitions. When I was down, not hardly a soul helped, I said when I have the ability to help others I will!! Not looking for it but when its presented to me, I will do what I can for others. I have said this before, I am not rich, and I am unperfect in many ways but If it is my virtue in life to be a help to someone then so be it. Find my joy though this I suppose....

This week I had a little date with Ed my friend that owns Costa's Furniture store. Not really a date were just friends but we did go out and eat and had a couple of beers. We went to Sunami, expensive but great sushi. Then to this Tico bar on the beach over looking the waves. I like it its cool and fresh and diffferent. He was not quite sure. Not up to Eds standards... someone who was use to a very comfortable lifestyle and is now in the middle of life change. I am not saying that is bad in fact I hope with all my heart that Ed gets through this and that he learns some valueable lessons on how to appreciate the small things, and friendships as well. He is a good person, I surely believe that life is not fair, and that the deck were dealt is sometimes the worst, but like all of us is experienceing some horrible struggles at the moment. I hope he knows I am a good friend and expect nothing more than his friendship.

We talked for hours, I was sad when I left him thinking about his trials, felt his burden. And it has effected me the past couple of days. If anyone knows about trials I swear its me!!! I sure hope I can cheer him up now and then.

Felt very lonely this morning, still pineing about the single life, and how can I continue, it is hard being single. Just wish I had a companion... someone to share life with!!!! and other things!!

What A Relief!

Not a difficult week at all, I suppose it was because I am so tired of fighting and putting up the faith, that I just gave in and stopped thinking for a minute. No Really I did I just turned off my thinking for a day or so. Sunday at Marla's by the sea, in the beautiful pool... slept by the pool again. Walked back to eat nachos, and made myself with eating them all. I was so dang full I laid on the little sofa and just belly ached. I suffered for three days behind it!! never do that again.
But other than life, things now are better. I huge weight lifted off my shoulders.
But last weekend was lively, Again out with Rosie Dancing a little and then home... I have not seen Diego, I have gone by many times but he is at this point a fantasy. Diego is the one with the small soda at the end of town, Ticos Sabores.. He has called today and said hi and was happy for me, he is my friend!
Now I have some friends in the police..... They helped me a little this week, I feel like I have a personal body guards. Kenneth is the my friend there, I like his name its my fathers name. He seems to help when ever I need.

This week for example, someone robbed a person eating at the soda downstairs from me. I jumped on the phone called Kenneth and in minutes they were on the street and they caught the guy.. this is unheard of ok? no one who lives here in Jaco will believe this story but I swear to you it is the truth. Then earlier in the week Clint and I went over to the Macaw project, and confronted Ron.

It was a very hot tempered on his part, conversation. I remained calm and addressed every issue he continued to bring up and beat me up with. And with the answer to him was PAY YOUR BILL, You are gonna pay your bill, just pay your bill.

He continued to be rate me, belittle me, and beat me down so I would go away.. he actually told me I was his huge pain in the ass, I answered, well then get rid of the pain pay the pharmacy!! get rid of the pain. At one point I had him stopped with his mouth tightly pursed, and thinking.
Then as soon as this whole ordeal was over he told Clint I don't ever want to see you on the property again. Clint was interjecting things now and then and he asked Who are you??? Clint said I am her partner. He was angered now and ready to punch me. I asked him he was threatening to punch me? he wouldn't answer I asked him again... Then he calmed down a bit I walked to the gate and said you will pay you will pay!!!


I called my Friend Kenneth as I got into the car. I talked to him for five seconds asked then to come here and ask him some questions. They did but Ron would not come out of the apartment.

The following morning I got the answer to prayer that I have been hanging on to. I emailed one of the investors and once again asked for the payment. I found an answer where he had released the funds but, it wasn't just like that. Of course where were more emails, and no more confrontations but soon in the day the payment was made. Now were done with Macaw. But the thoughts behind there trickery, and how they have done business is just awful.

He managed to skim a nice slice for him self I am sure.

Can you tell I am not happy still?

No I am very grateful for the whole thing to be over.!!! Great Relief!

I think its possible that this weekend a little adventure is due, I want to get away from here for a night or a day and see some more of the country. My breath of fresh air I guess you would call it?? everyone should do that change your scenery for a day or just stop thinking for a day .

Semana Santa Penthouse party

It Is Semana Santa... English translation Week of the saints, but really its Easter Week. The whole town the whole country shuts down after today. No public offices,no main businesses, no clubs no bars and no offices.

The people stock up on things and spend there time resting and cooking for the week. I my self have nothing to do... were not working there just isn't any people around the mall, so why be here all day and run the power and air?.. The town is pretty busy actually, lots of people walking around.

Last night we were invited to a penthouse party, the vista Mar one of the tallest buildings in Jaco sitting half a block off the beach. We went met some people watched the Sunset and drank some champagne, and ate some caviar.. A little over the top for me, since I have been eating mostly Costa Rica food or my own mix of Italian, Chinese and other various types of cooking I am fully capable of... So Caviar was a bit extravagant for me.

I really do not like it to be honest, I have tried it many times but this was really salty and not yummy to me. The view from up there was Divine, I loved the 360 views of the beach the jungle and the mountains behind.

After an hour we went to Rosie's and hung out, ate dinner and drank Caiparinas.. watched the crowds walk by and commented like most people do! it was fun. Rosie and I enjoy each other company. I was a little bit down because my friend Christian had promised to see me do something with me but he never called, yet at 11:00 in the night he texts me "Hope your having a good night and good night to you.." WHATEVER!!! first I was angry then I thought oh well he could have blown me off entirely.. I don't understand Men of any age! Today he leaves again we have not seen but one hour of each other this week. And its not because he is busy.

Anyway Rosie and I had fun, she closes at one am in the morning her little coffee shop, we walked across the way and went to the Monkey bar for a hour to see what people were in there. I danced like five songs then we left. It was late I was tired and so was Rosie. Today everything as I said closes so this should be interesting to see what people are going to do?

I bought a for sale sign for the car, I am going to sell it and try to buy a little pickup. I Really want a Toyota Hilux double cab but there spendyhere... Maybe I can find a used one a couple years old? I need to get a truck necessary for the type of work.

I had a guy last night ask me to give him four bids for landscape so maybe the clouds are parting and things will turn around here real soon? I sure hope so. I can not take more of this depression. Although I try to be happy it hangs on me, and I smile but inside it is hurting bad. Worrying about what is to come, with all areas of my life???

Each day I wake up and realize I am still here??so there must be some purpose to this life!

Rainy Tuesday morning

It was an early morning today, around 5:00 I heard birds singing. My thoughts are fixed on two things. I cannot stop thinking about two situations.. the personal one, and the business one. I get up and stumble around my hair today was wild when I woke up.. I looked like I had slept in a wind tunnel all night.. I felt better this morning than I had for several weeks. I made the coffee, went out and read and drank my coffee. I didn't eat anything at all I just sat and stared at the birds. When I heard the crows of the Macaws... I looked up and there were two, and two more came and landed in front of my apartment.
I remembered Sunday when I saw them fly over my head as I laid in the hot sand. Two together and one alone. Once again I saw them and now right in front of me, no one else around... I knew right then that was a sign. That I would have blessings for the rest of the day. I actually thanked God for the birds there so beautiful and what a gift so that we may enjoy.

I ran in right away took a shower got all prettied up, pink all pink today.. and made a decision to try as much as I could to let the cares slip and enjoy the Semana Santa like all the locals.
I drove to Christians work and said Hello and showed my face for a few minutes he was having lunch at break. We talked and I left about five minutes later... then went to the laundry and picked the mound of Clint's Clothes. Stopped to see if Diego was around and noticed the place was packed. I saw this dark handsome Portuguese man named Carlos.. We Waved and I drove off to the house.
Gather up Clint and on we went through town to see all the tourist's and check out what was happening.

When we arrived to the office shortly there after the rain began.. its nice because it cooled off the heat that was weighing on you when you went outside. Like a lead coat you instantly begin to sweat, even if your just standing doing nothing... So that was a very nice refreshing relief from the oven.

Nothing is going on so I am drinking a fresh Cas and Clint is on line emailing good friends.

Last night we both went to Doce Lunes again there was a dual art show there father and daughter. We had a beer met some people we both knew and then went to the show. The art was strange.. some of it was a bit deranged if you asked me? The daughter was a pretty sight for any eyes. Strikingly tall Blondie but tiny structure. The Father a bigger guy with grizzled hair, his paintings were geo metrics with forms always some form of a cross, a nude man, and spheres... hers were estranged women's faces, some with running lipstick and smeared all over their faces, one had a stork perched on a pedestal above this one woman?? I knew what that meant FERTILE WOMAN.. I was a bit shocked at her worked honestly I wondered if it was self portrait.. many with two women next or close to one another???
It was interesting to say the best. We had some hor dors enjoyed the beautiful Gardens there At Doce lunes. At night its all lit up looks so spectacular with the huge bejuco wrapped trees and the feeder roots hanging from the limbs, dangling.
We returned to the house and hour or so later, we talked on the porch again and I was first in bed. Maybe the reason I got up so early it was only 10:30.

The Weekend and Mondays hope

Marcos showed up, we meet but he had called Christian also, I saw Christian on the street in his car we stopped and talked for a moment, he had grown a new go t, looked really handsome. We both drove to the center of Jaco to pick up Marcos. I talked to Christian for only a minute, he is not very responsive to me any more. I Have no idea what is in his head because we only speak in Spanish and although my vocabulary is building, I do not have enough words to ask him what is going on in his head about me?

I was wearing a white lacy dress it was very sunny and hot, when I got out of the car I had many men looking and actually stopping in the street to stare. This is common here, Men just admire who they please and sometimes its me. This day it was many men and it almost caused an accident in Front of Christians car. I saw Marcos walking I waved and he came to me and smiled. We hugged while Christian looked on and just stared. Then he greeted him with a handshake and asked what was up? Marcos and I left to go meet some people I wanted to introduce him to to help support his Eco tourism project. We told Christian and this other guy, Graven to meet us later for a beer. It was very hot and sunny and he was sweating allot, I do think there was more to the sweat than the sun.
Later Christian messaged me and told me where to meet them. We met up had a beer talked and Christian was a bit concerned but didn't tell us he was leaving to go to Puriscal like hes has been doing every weekend now. I invited him to hang out with us and so did Marcos but he said no, I asked for him to stay for dinner and he told me some excuse.
The evening went without them, Marcos and I and Clint had a nice dinner, we bbqued cook some chiote, and salad. We relaxed on the balcony and the three of us talked some, Marcos shared with me some facts about Christian and made me think allot about him while he was talking.
He use to be a upper end enforcement officer, I think the pressures of the job and the fear factor is the cause for him to quit and now works some very menial job.

Marcos, I and Graven, Christian's friend went out for the evening. I really didn't drink, I didn't have much money so I just watched and danced an awful lot with many people who knew me but I didn't know most of them? Very strange this night so many people called out my name, Marcos thought I knew the whole town. Lots of people recognize me now. Actually shocking to me, I was not sure I liked it. My spirit was down and I didn't feel enchanting.
But I smiled and said hello...
The night went on till three, We walked to the Tico taco and I had one first time I have done that late at night. All that dancing made me hungry. We took a cab and went back to the house, Marcos stayed with us. He left early in the morning, Clint and I went to the beach right in back of the apartment and swam allot during the day. I was very hungry and tired. We took a break from the sun and went back to eat some lunch but I didn't have much in the house so he ate and I watched and drank some tea...

Returning to the beach to lay some more, I watched the clouds form, how beautiful the sky was bright blue with lots of soft billowy white clouds. Looked allot like white cotton candy.

I tried to ease my mind and imagine what the clouds were forming, but I didn't see anything in particular but the beauty of the sky.

The water was warm very warm, but clear you could see the bottom even through the thick foamy waves. I could see it was getting rougher out there I got knocked down once, this was enough I was too tired to fight the sea. I got out and laid until Clint was done. Then we walked back to the house and made sandwiches for dinner.

I wanted to just do something, because the apt is so small, there is no TV now and no Radio only the coffee maker and microwave stove. It is pretty boring although Clint and I talk much, sit on the balcony its still pretty dead in there. So my thoughts were that on Sunday Doce Lunes has free Movies and Free popcorn.( We don't have a movie theater) We go at 7:00 no show. It was theatrics, but never began, we waited for a hour, Christian called the moment he returned to Jaco we talked about 15 minutes, then I dropped off Clint and went and met Christian Down town to talk for a few minutes. He seemed very nice, Different. He told me that Today he may bring his sister to meet me.. I hope so that will be at least something to look forward to in the day. There is no work here this week, it is Semana Santa, the easter week.
All places are closed and no one works period. We have no idea what were doing?

I had hope on Sat, one of the investors made yet another false promise. He agreed to deposit his share in my account. But this morning when I got here and read the mail, he has said oh first I must email RON, and find out what he says.. hes in Rome I don't think I am a priority .Yet another ploy to avoid paying what they owe. My hope was pretty much smashed after reading that... I have no game plan now. I can't even come up with one. I am so beat down more than I ever have been. All I know is I have photos the work is good, I gave more than was agreed.

I had several letters today from readers, one who knows me personally and is very upset. She said Marianna, you always give above what is expected, your work in the end is always Absolutely Beautiful! when I read this from Barbara, I cried... its because I have done many things for this Client, they know my heart too.. I would never cheat anyone and in fact I give give give... Or l try to at least. I thanked Barbara, she said she would be sending me good thoughts... I NEED MORE THAN THOUGHTS!!!! but it helps!! thanks Barb and Bill.
One other reader said he loved me, although he doesn't know personally or in person, he knew my heart now. And that he felt I was a real person someone who does share it like it is and tries her best to do what is correct. I thank you Vegas nights.. I cried also when I read your mail. I appreciate all the support I get from my readers and my friends. I have little family, none here to support me.. so I welcome the thoughts and the comments. It is helpful for me to sort, although I always use my judgement, mistakes yes many in my life.. but hasn't everyone made mistakes?? My self very many.. But I always ask for guidance in knowing the way. I hope this helps someone? because maybe this is my total purpose in life.