I had told Douglas about Milo, During the week, to prepare him for Milo coming to Jaco on Friday. This all has happened so fast, that I have not had time to think about what I really need to do here. I had to be honest with Douglas, I explained that I had feelings for Milo. When Milo showed up we sat at Rosies, talked for awhile nothing important but just sat and drank, watching the prostitutes and transvestites walking back in forth, all the cars driving up and down and just had something refreshing and talked,
then retired to my house. Where we sat on the porch and really talked about things. I was about to tell him all about how Douglas had saved me and how now I feel so impressed to spend some time with doug, But Milo Already knew and shared with me that he did. All hell broke loose, I began to cry and tell him that I also had feelings for Milo, as well Doug. I Am not married to either one of these men, I wish there was a way to date them both untill I find out who is really right for me. What happened to the days when you could date others with out fault and make a decision according to the feelings you have inside? Neither one wants me to date the other, both are great men, although they are very different types. But both have a similar background's. SELF TAUGHT BOTH OF THEM, and Both of them successfull.

One is and Architect, one is Builder, developer of a system of cement panels which he can build a house in less than a week's time. Both are learned in Building. I am a designer, with background in Events, Weddings, Floral, landscape Architecture, and interior design, allot of years of it so each of these men fit perfectly with me. One more affectionate than the other. This was the worst time of my life here the past weeks. With the foot, the bike, the money, the men... the emotional drain has been so exhausting. I cannot figure out what I really should do. I have loved Milo, although the past behavior has mad things different. Milo and I have not seen each other in four months, he only called me once since our dispute. But he has completely apologized for all his actions and I apologized for hurting his feelings on here.


Doug, has not had enough time for us to have any disputes, and I don' t know if we will yet he is really understanding, and extremely giving.. TIME TELLS ALL, I never dreamed in all my life I would be Here in Costa Rica, have two men who are inlove with me and both are pretty darn good.. Milo thinks this is a huge mistake, but I know in my heart it isn't had I not been here he would have never met me.... and had I not known Doug I would be still in Punteranas in some crack pot hosptial suffering yet with double fractures. I do not know how this could happen.. I never in my life had two men in love with me... I told Milo that I had to take some time with Doug. I just feel like I should spend time with him to see if it is really meant to be.. I tried to explain to Milo that I did not want to hurt him that I loved him too and I have never been in a situation like this ever.. AT MY AGE??

We spent hours crying talking laying on the bed with my Fractured foot propped up me in pain , crying and sying, he talking but in the morning. We just talked, he made coffee, then cleaned up my apartment, and waited on me since I can not do to much. He asked what my plans were I said none, I know that his friends were going to Parrita to lay on the beach, and I felt I needed to talk to Doug to tell him I was ok an I did what I said I was going to do, discuss with Milo what is happening. Milo did not want me to keep in contact with him he said he would leave and allow me to continue, but I was so shook up all I could do was cry. I Do love him, but I have feelings for Douglas too. THis is terrible...

He left in the morning, both of us crying and waving at the window, he drove off and I sat for hours thinking. I hope I did the right thing?

Later Doug showed up, took me to eat I couldn't I was too upset, he just was conforting and understood the whole thing. He assured me that I would be better in a day or so that I would miss some things about Milo.. but I know he has not been there for me especially when I needed him so . I told Milo that when a man loves a woman he will do anything to be with her or do things for her.. now is the time to see what will happen and what I should do.

Today I went to Manuel Antonio with three friends Doug was one. We had a very nice time it was beautiful there, the breeze was cool and the surrounds so gorgeous. I tried like heck to not think about Milo but I still did.


WE drove home and watched the Sunset in Hermosa Beach it was simply beautiful! I sat in the car they all got out... I thought about who would be the best man for me... while the sun went down over the sea, my thought's were heavy.

Driving back I was thinking about Milo, then We came and internetted he messaged me and told me the sadest story ever about how he almost drowned yesterday after leaving me.
About how he saw a dead monkey on the road with it's mate in the tree above it just looking upon its dead partner in wonderment? how he picked it up off the road and sad to the living one.. I know how you feel.. OH HOW SAD I WANTED TO CRY WHEN HE TOLD ME THIS.... I just want the right person in my life, and I am praying that I choose the best man... but as Any woman knows, ACTIONS SPEAKS LOUDER THAN WORDS.