The announcement of my decision

Going back to the states, because of various reasons. I won't go into the details, but I will be heading back. I leave on Thursday morning, its a long journey to Vancouver. I fly into Seattle, first then I may have to take a bus or train to Portland. Honestly, I will say I am torn, because I love my new friend, My surroundings are peacefull, and so nice. I must return, I am now so endrenched with the Latin Culture, that I am scared of how I will adjust to the Ways again of American living that I grew up in. Although I was very fortunate in my younger years, of having a wonderfull Family and groundings. The cultural influences of Italian is evident when I reflect on the life here in Spain.

Now to return to something, I disliked so much is going to be a bit strange in the begining again.

Although it does not mean I can not return to this lovely place. After sharing with Cathy when I leave we both were sad, but she is a marvelous woman, understands my situation. AND SHE ENCOURAGED ME TO KEEP GOING, that I was a valiant woman, and to please return to her house.
This place is an open door for me, she said last night if you want to come back the apartment is yours, if I have to get rid of someone, if not you sleep in my house. We are friends not just landlord and renter. I so love this woman, I have learned much from her in the short time I was here.

Also My friends in Costa Rica write or message daily, I miss them too, Although its difficult at this time to live anywhere! not just in Costa Rica.
Europe is Much better than USA, and I will not be afraid to admit that I am worried and scared of how I will live.
My children will of course be some what happy, I hope?

My ideas of going to Sicily is still strong, I want to see where my family is from, and I am disapointed that I did not meet my goal, but I have not given up on the hope. I AM NOT DEAD YET!

In going back, I have already searched for jobs but I can see its not very good in the states. Lots of restuarants looking for help, of course people have to eat, and its summer.

I will be very happy to spend time with Julian, and Kelsey. I hope I can be a small influence in there lives.

I repeat I am torn, I miss the family, but I will miss this latin culture, music, food, and some of the kind and different people that are not like Americans.

I hope I can use all my experiences for good, to be a kinder and better person to other people. I do not want to fall back into what I was before I left, Stressed, worried, aged, sick, Tired, hatefull, and very negative.


I speak the language here very well, and find it more interesting than English, so that will be missed too.

Keep Reading, I am not dead yet!

I want to impliment what I have learned in thought, Work to live... not live to work!!!