MUY EMOTIONAL

I thought that yesterday was going to be an easy and great day, First I was suppose to be at work early because I had a meeting with three of the execs from Exxon. I had them at the hotel the day before doing a site tour on the property and dealing with there event issues. I thought It would be good to go in early and get the contract all ready to sign before they left. THAT DIDN'T HAPPEN. I got up so early but stayed on the computer too long and was late missed the bus. I called my driver I have which is here on the Island called Alex, Alex was hung over because the night before was his surprise birthday Party, so never the less I was late in my eyes in going in. I finally arrived at 8:15. When I arrived I had a note that another client was coming in to sign and deposit. I printed out all the details of the events for the up coming week, since I am leaving to Go back to Costa Rica to do the Los Suenos Resort in Herradura Costa Rica. Los Suenos is fabulous man..! in that I was thinking hurry and get everything you can done and in order before you leave. So I did, I walked around handing out the schedules of the upcoming weeks events to the chef, the Restaurant manager, and the I.T. man. Then met up with the girls from Exxon. We went over a few things. The GM showed up in the Office to add his comments and then they left.

Early in the week he and I had a disagreement on something my boss wanted me to do in accordance to the dealings with Exxon. I won't go into the details but I felt strongly against doing something he ask me to do. I was not happy when I left his office and he knew it, just then someone had walked in and asked what was going on I mention this person exactly how I said it to him and she ran to tell him I said that. I'T wasn't anything I didn't tell him directly to his face and he knew I was against his idea. I Mean I know this guys my boss but people do have there own minds, maybe mine is different alright but I do have judgement and I was totally against what he was pretty much demanding me to do. I gave him my point which he closed his ears to, and then did what he ask me to do. In saying all this, the whole issue was invalid after yesterday but it continued to be a thorn in his side. I manage to close the deal with Exxon, Although I was told its easy to sell the place I am working at, nothing to do with me period, and that I was pretty much a number of bad things. This whole thing pist him off and credit was not giving to me in fact I went through roughly 30 or more minutes of brow beating, a little cussing was in there, and some slanted name calling. I sat calm, I hardly reacted, when I did it was distorted by his reactions. I am curious about this man? I wonder if he had issues in other places in USA? is that why hes here? I mean he does have good ideas, comes with experience. Although earlier in the week I was told what does age have to do with a job? this was in reflection to how I felt on this very same issue. I just feel that having experience in something does benefit you in solving issues or doing the task RIGHT? Well I just was beat to death by this yesterday I decided to leave early after that. I felt like the whole day was upside down. It should have been a day where I was told WOW good job thank you and I hope you have a great week while I am gone.

SAD THING IS: He has some sort of object of hate toward me,I have addressed it as something he told me twice about someone else and the association of this other person with me. Ok I'm not feeling sorry for myself but I have experience in this, For some reason I HAVE BEEN THE OBJECT OF A FEW PEOPLES HATRED and have used me as the object and purely innocent, is it the look I have, is it the fact that I am talented and a little smart and some are very jealous of this? My mother knew she saw that this happened many times in growing up, I was a excelling person, and some people have envy WHY? I have no harm in me toward anyone to be honest. If your decent to me and good me I am good to you, If your rude and mean and down right hateful I respond in a way that is defensive. NORMAL.

I may be a lot of things but one thing I'm not is a cancer, nor a poison to anything. I know what I see and yes it has to be hard to be in his place, but treating people with out regard, telling you what your not, insinuating that you are this or that, is not how to win over people. I mean I don't think I ever treated anyone that has worked for me like this. I'm so down trodden lately.. I mean I have literally got four huge contracts that are signing.. producing. What is it when one person finds anything to attack you?

I feel really badly over this situation and it continues to get worse, attack after attack, what he may not realize is other people see it and they feel bad for me. They come to me and pet me and touch me and said they don't understand. I tried to explain to one person who is nearest to me at work, that I have had this before. I realize not everyone can love you, but to be in fear, stress and worried daily about saying anything is not the way to live. I'M CAREFUL I HARDLY SPEAK TO THIS MAN, it doesn't matter I can say thank you that was nice and get a response from him " OH NOW YOUR SARCASTIC" when in reality I thought it was nice.

Never the less its not fun, yesterday was a freaky day, I was suppose to go and look at a location for the new business doing floral, chocolate and decor and coffee, We have been planning this for more than 6 months, the location fell through yesterday, 2 blow.. Yesterday thank god is yesterday!

Woke up early today to rain and dark dreary looking weather, when I was invited to go swimming and hang out with a new friend, she called me last night has a spa here called BAUN SUERTE beautiful place look it up in Roatan, but I guess maybe later if it clears up.

Well I am gonna try to stick it out there, do what I can keep producing and when I am ready walk. I Love people, we can try to love all of them some just won't accept you.