Monday, September 23, 2013

Still in Costa Rica

               MACHA, who visits me occasionally but now with a mate. 


Were to begin, so much has happened in such a small amount of time. Lets just say I was in Quepos Manuel Antonio for about a year, I taught Zumba there for the community sports center, and at a few hotels and one bar. 

It was not like I thought it was going to be, it was hard and the economy in Quepos/ Manuel Antonio was very down. I lived in a small two bedroom apartment with my friend Clint,in comparisons to USA or Europe this apartment was basically poverty. It was situated right in front of the septic tank, a huge pad of concrete as you enter the apartment. Even as it was, I tried my best as a challenge to my ego and my heart to make it beautiful with plants and free plants that I dug out of the jungle. The inside not much I could to with out income. I basically supported Clint and I with Zumba for months and months teaching some 7 times a week. He had did a few massages but the area there was so saturated with massage therapists that he had a very difficult time finding anything to do. 

He became bored depressed, I worked constantly to be able to eat and survive, I had a serious injury in my knee for months and he helped me to heal it with his massage and ice. It was serious, I didn't tell anyone I just continued. I tried everything I put ads for Creative cooking classes, for tours for anything I could think of to survive but not much came. I kept the hope of my chocolate Idea which I have been working on, and dwelling on for five years. I had no idea how this was every going to come about or develop , but I keep the hope alive in my spirit and my heart as something that could possibly support me, and a new adventure to at least try for the next few years.

After a month of two of absolutely no income, Clint one day says" I was thinking about your idea with the chocolate, I want to invest my house money in this idea!" house money meaning his pay off from the house as a partner with his family. So we both worked on the paper work and the he after three months got the payoff. I looked around in Manuel Antonio for a position, found a cool place and worked on the plans with an architect and discussed with the city the changes that needed to be made, but in the end that fell thru and we did not proceed.

I decided to go back Jaco, I said lets just go for a weekend, We pay for for a cheap hotel and watch the movement in Jaco, I talk to someone online on Facebook and they had a rental house that we could rent inexpensively almost furnished, by almost furnished meaning it did not have everything you need. We went and watched and we both thought Jaco would be a much better place to be putting a new chocolate business.

After months of staying in  that strange situation, of that rental house. This is another entirely different story, in fact I experienced and saw things that I could not or should not write on a blog as it could endanger my life. THAT IS A WHOLE OTHER EXPERIENCE THAT IS so weird that it is literally a miracle that I am where I am now. 

I began teaching Zumba here, and that helped me to know more people and opened a door for a new place that is private and safe and is peaceful finally as I wished for. 

Clint and I opened the Cacao lounge with his investment. The difficulties in obtaining permits were really over powering and he could not handle the stress of all that, but he did do the best he could and I took over where he could not handle things. As time has gone on Clint is no longer he was taken out of the country for some issues with his passport, mine too we both were arrested for bad passports, they deported him, but while he was in the jail he told me all the things he did not do for the Cacao lounge. Shocking and  troublesome! I spent 48 hours in a jail, in conditions that are not humane. First with 19 men because they had no space, I was frightened, humbled, and very unsure as to what was going to happen to me. I wont go into the behavior there as it is still to close to home to relive. 

Then I was taken in the middle of the night to a solitary cell out to where I have no idea where?? The floor was covered in human piss and bugs, only a hole to look out, a cement slab but no covering no toilet.   I screamed and yelled when I saw a guard passing in the night, I did not sleep that whole night, of course not who could and where?? I felt fear, I watched my whole life go by that night. I thought about how just weeks before I was in a mansion for my sons wedding in the most beautiful setting ever, and how I got to see my grandson Juliano, and my son and new daugther in-law and now here I was in a cell with filth and nothing to keep me warm all night, I used the toilet paper they gave me, to cover my legs and put around my arms.

 Although its Costa Rica, where ever I was it was cool at night very cool. IT WAS MY FAULT that this happened I accept the responsibility for this because I did not leave the country to be legal. HARD LESSON TO LEARN, Now I have a big fine to pay, on top of the issues that were not taken care of at the Cacao lounge.

I was lucky to have gotten a public defender, and she got me off with a fine, and community service , with the condition that I have two years to get my residency here since I run and operate the Cacao lounge. Shocked and worried I signed the documents after that night in solitary in a small court room of four people.

My friends sister lives in that area near Panama were I was, and she picked me up took me to her mansion and am not kidding when I say mansion! she fed me let me shower and gave me clothes to wear. I felt very humble and very thankful that she was o kind to me, she even bought me a bus ticket to go back to Jaco. So after a few hours I was on a bus going back to my home. I laid in my bed which is the apartments bed not my own, its old and worn out and lumpy, but I was so pleased me to in it and so thankful!

The very next day I got ready for Zumba taught a class went back change my clothes and continued in Cacao to try to find a way to save this business.  I been doing it ever since its been almost two months now. I manage to make enough month in two months to pay some of the back owed money that Clint was not paying or not able to pay. Also my fault for NOT INVESTIGATING AND FINDING OUT WHAT THE HELL WAS GOING ON! I was busy on my end producing, Marketing, managing the vendors and the help. But regardless I am here back in Cacao lounge, with many  burdens that are a bit overwhelming should you lump them together as my  friend TINA says. She keeps telling me not to lump things, take it one little piece at a time! its alot..

No one really knew what happened then after the second week I told people why not! I want people to know I am a survivor! I am strong and I am some how some way going to make it here.

It was nice I had several people donate money NOT ALOT but every little bit helped me to try to resolve some of this. HOW WONDERFUL some people really are, I didn't ask they just came one gave me a hundred another two hundred and one or two of 50  dollars.   My life I know is my choice but this world has become so tough, and I honestly do not know how most people are making it. 

I live so simple, I have old bedding from 6 years ago that was mine and someone gave it back to me, I have clothes most of them are giving to me and thank god for those people who gave me these clothes. I have shoes the same only four pairs right now so worn out its not funny! but I wear them !!! I have no furniture, but in CACAO beautiful things. Thank you Clint for that, every day when I come into this place I say to CACAO I love you, I am grateful for you Cacao and I hope it becomes a very successful place. I try to make people happy! by blessing them with the things of my hands.

SOME HOW SOME WAY I will make it, when I try to think of how its so overwhelming that it makes me go into fear and worry, so try not to think of how, I just keep saying it over and over and hopefully the same way it became alive it will become an success.  STAY STRONG MARIANNA STAY STRONG 

No comments: